Skip navigation

Category Archives: Uncategorized

Dreams I: I’m in my room or another small room with Eliana and two other girls.  I forget what we are doing.  But after I am approached by Julia(?) about something, Eliana approaches me with 1 other girl and delivers a pressure point to the middle of my palm (I remember the colour red for some reason) and it causes me to ascend off the ground quickly and hit the ceiling.  We are all surprised by this move.  Something else happens to me at this time, but we are so surprised by Eliana’s knowledge of how to do this, especially because Eliana does not seem like she should know how to do something like this.

Then I am facing Inca in another room.  Inca is black, short, androgynous, athletic, has a few older brothers and is quite thin; I knew her in elementary school.  She has appeared in my dreams once before.  I am confused about whether she comes from Ethiopia or Jamaica.  She goes away and I am with another girl, I think it is Megan.  Megan is blonde, Caucasian, blue-eyed and quiet however not usually quiet, has an older sister, and prioritizes being liked and popular; I knew her in elementary school.  We are in a long room, facing one wall where there are many objects, including shelving, some kind of TV perhaps, and we are close to the ground or on the ground.  On the opposite wall, there are windows, but we are separated by the rest of the room’s contents, which I no longer remember.  Inca comes back and I suddenly believe it was she who performed the palm-pressure-point-trick that Eliana performed a minute before.  I tell Megan about it and Inca demonstrates on herself after stepping back from us.

Then I am looking at Incas legs and see that she has many deep cuts that have scarred.  They are quite bad and look like the flesh has been dug out in a few places.  A few of the cuts are also of strange colours, such as pale yellow, among a couple others that I forget now.  She and I seem to be quite good friends.  I also am aware that she has to go away soon.  She corrects me that it is not Ethiopia, but Jamaica, after I mention Ethiopia to her in conversation.  I note how skinny she looks, to myself.  She goes away and and I say to Megan that, like Jamie (a blonde, older boy from my distant past who got into trouble often), I will end up providing nutritious food for her if shes not careful, such as from a can of Vegan Proteins that are on a shelf in front of us.

I recall looking at a device at this time or around this time as well.  It reminds me of a sophisticated juicer or something like that…  And there is a very involved scene that I plunge into, involving this device then:

I remember seeing the machine very close up; my POV zoomed into where it was on its shelf, and the light dimming around it.  There was an upper portion to it, shaped like a funnel, and seemed to be of white plastic.  It was being wrapped around by copious amounts of light-coloured strands or tendrils that were noodle-like and thin, enmeshed amidst each other and stuck on the sides of the wide, plastic funnel thing as if it were the parts of an eyeless sea creature.  I looked at the strands and wondered if they were so thin that they would break.  I believe I instructed them to let go, or wondered about it outloud.  I think a few of them did slacken, or perhaps not, but I watched them and did not see them get tighter.  I have the sense that I wanted to rescue something and was coming back for it, also that I was embarrassed to be found out about something, perhaps by my coming back.

As I looked at the machine, there were others looking with me I thought, and that on the machine or nearby the machine was some kind of record of my past attempts to come back and get it.  It was recorded almost like a comic or a movie illustrated with little facial expressions representing me and my emotions as I came and went.  They were pretty endearing, or “cute”-style depictions of facial expressions.  They were illuminated against a dark background.  I followed this little sequence down and back around to the direction I was previously facing to talk to Inca.

I saw instead there, a hallway in the dark.  I was facing a wall with a window on it that had its curtains drawn from the inside.  It reminds me of a section of my elementary school, the newest wing built onto it in my last couple years there.  So I sensed that there was a classroom beyond the window, and remember seeing two, or maybe just one, Asian person sitting against the wall or being projected through the wall, looking down at some kind of book or paper in their lap.

Then I remember looking just left of this scene and seeing a lot of animals in cages.  The little animals were about as small as beanbag toys and they seemed unreal in that way, more like cartoons.  I followed the path of one little animal  that was shaped like a piglet kind of, who ran out of its cage and into another set of cages (made of black wire, like the kinds of cages that trap animals or cage hamsters) mistakenly that belonged to another pet store owner, into a large pig‘s cage.  It ran further across to another animal’s attached cage too.

I indicated to the pet store owner who I worked for (?) what had happened.  The opposing pet store owner saw as well and seemed pleased; he wanted the little pig to become his property, perhaps.  I circled around the box of several, connected cages to look at it from the other side and to follow the progress of the little pig.

I looked up and saw the long, narrow room I was in: many animals in cages as I mentioned, and it seemed like the room tapered to become narrow the further away it stretched from me.  I spoke to the owner, an unhealhty-seeming man, about the dire state of his pet shop, as all the animals seemed kind of dumb and/or weird.  He told me to back off when he thought he detected criticism.  I tried to dissuade him from that, as we had been working together for a long time.  We both stumbled into the possibility that they hadn’t been getting enough exercise, so were not such fine specimens anymore.  He seemed excited at this possibility, and went away right as we said that to get another size of cage from a collection of boxes he knew of; apparently he thought that this would help solve his problem.  He returned with them after passing through a more darkly-lit section to instruct me on how we would implement them(?).  I thought they were shabby and would not do.  They weren’t very big and were very soft wood, as if they had been rotting. I think they were white.  He said we would rebuild and restructure them.  I was skeptical as I watched him show me the boxes, but through that his “restructuring” was the only thing to be done after all, and that they would at least make good templates to start a stronger box-cage project from.

Then I recall speaking with a very clever, genderless but female-seeming, black and white cat.  I actually don’t remember much about how I got to this point because my POV changed so dramatically, as did the setting in the background, and the characters/plot/tone I was conscious of.  The setting chagned to become like that of the inside of a hotel.  A lot of things were happening, but she was knowledgable somehow and seemed almost to be animated.

I was considering a painting with someone who I don’t know anymore, of a cat, and that we had to consider how to paint it so that it accurately resembled the black and white cat that I described before.  When it came to her tail, I knew we had to include the colouring in a special way otherwise it would not look like her.  She appeared and the action zoomed into the painting of her tail, specifically of where the black connected to the white.  She was painting it with watercolour strokes blending softly together at pencil crayon lines, like classic fashion design art.  The pencil crayon lines were as a couple of ochre strokes, very minimalist and earthy.

She had some kind of special knowledge, but I forget now what about.  She seemed faery-like now that I think about it.

I looked up or around to the side and saw that at the end of the hall I was in, a table rolled into view.  On it were puppies I think, and draped, white fabric.  Beyond it was a lobby of some sort and it seemed like an extravagent setting in general, with deep reds (burgundy), white, black, and maybe a little bit of gold.  Something bad was going on, or some kind of high energy or tension was in the air.  I was considering also for some reason, Japanese artists or art directors working on animated films, such as the careful work that went into the painting of the cat’s tail before.  It was as though I was watching a film, and therefore contemplated each of the visual images I was perceiving as being new cells in an animated feature.

A lady character was also involved now.  She was tall, thin, Caucasian, and was called Cruella De Vil by a male voice over.  She had many eyes across her face and was indeed monster-like.  She had at least 9 eyes perhaps… although I’m just pulling that number out of the air.  She also had short hair, lipstick, and dressed in close-fitting, high-fashion, black-and-white attire, just like the character, and behaved like her too.  I saw a close up of her face coming towards me in the hall.  The voice was describing her and the action at least for a short period.

This is so fuzzy, but I recall her waltzing up to a rolling table against a wall and becoming angry about something, and also seeing down a hallway leading into the hotel, but I couldn’t see past Cruella or any of the other clutter that obscured the view down there.  The walls’ wallpaper were cream coloured and lined with a vertical, mustard-yellow, minimalist pattern; she started some conflict involving the table, its contents, and maybe the puppies.  I might have seen one of the rolling tables disappear down the hall…

She was being thwarted somehow, but wasn’t totally thrown off from her plans yet.  Another character nearby me wanted to further deter her; I don’t recall their gender, but I do remember that they seemed youthful, and that Cruella did not suspect him/her, perhaps because this person seemed to be working at the hotel.

This person still did not seem 100% committed to thwarting Cruella, I saw.  They had an umbrella of Cruella’s (a highly feminine, decorated, red/white/black device that included a lace-like material and a chrome, thin shaft) that was broken somehow.  My surroundings were now reminding me of the layout of one of my old daycares that I attended from ages 8 to 12 or so.  Cruella came to him/her about it and expressed disappointment.  Cruella did not seem so bad at that point suddenly.

We opened the door to see outside: a grey-blue air suggesting rain, a gravel parking lot and a hotel-lobby-style awning propped up by poles.  The umbrella was opened to demonstrate how it was broken.

As I woke up, I thought I heard a voice asking me or commenting on the fact that I didn’t like bothering Cruella, or asking incredulously: “You didn’t like bothering Cruella?”, or “You didn’t like bothering Cruella (so I stopped that from happening)”, in other words?  Something to that effect.  Then I thought I felt like someone kissed me a couple times.  But Julia was sleeping that I saw.

Dreams II: I don’t remember nearly as much of these as I do of the earlier sequence of dreams.  They were populated mostly by men, contrastingly.

I recall being outside, next to a kind of picnic-style table (dark brown, benches attached to it and on a paved slab which had an undercover area built over it).  My mother’s ex was there and was incapacitated somehow; I believe he was probably just sleeping.  There was another element to him, but I forget what it was now.

I crossed to the other side of the table and was in the company of two others.  One of them was singing a song (he was actually a musician; he was Caucasian, seemed in his early twenties and had brown, short hair) about waking the ex up.

Then I remember seeing through a surveillance camera, the pursuit of someone.  Someone we knew was chasing someone else, and chased them away from our location, through a nighttime area, onto a city bus, and cornered them in the back of the bus.  Popular TV characters were involved, including Lisa Simpson.  There were many coloured balloons on the bus, of red and yellow I believe.  There were many children on the bus.  I recall also Will Smith for some reason, as if this bus were some kind of specialty arrangement c/o him, and the children on the bus were benefitting on his behalf, such as if they had been sent away on a camp or a field trip with him.

He came back and then he and I were suddenly a little closer-related, I sensed.  I was referencing his using drugs I think… but now things get really, really fuzzy for me.  He wanted to talk to me in private.  We were in a room that was wide and had a built-in counter in the island style, like in kitchens.

I then remember seeing, around the corner and sitting on a couch, a blonde young man.  There was something to do with the mention of liquor.  He kept extending his hand to me and I gave him mine, thinking he wanted to shake hands.  I realized he didn’t, but I didn’t actually know what he wanted to do.  I took his hand anyway.  He made eye contact a lot and didn’t say too much, but was interested in speaking with me, however I do not know any longer what we ended up talking about.  the corner of the room was close behind him, and the walls were a light yellow colour.  There might have been a TV and a coffee table to our right.

I looked to the left of us, over the back of the couch, and saw a kitchen table.  I remember also seeing the video screen of the bus-scene around here somewhere.  I also remember seeing a poster of three people involved in the case earlier, a kind of coloured pencil drawing or sketch on a poster.  It was as if I had been transported right into that scene at that moment actually; I remember seeing movement through the windows of the bus: the city and streets moving by in the darkness.

I have a displaced memory of being told, for no reason I know of anymore, that Lorraine won’t have “each of the personalities sit in for therapy sessions”.  Lorraine is a hypnotherapist working out of Vancouver.

I look at a billboard that has been set up in the middle of a large, busy city.  On it is a huge image of a brain.  I’m listening to someone, or reading something about the phases of brain development, particularly one early phase in which it is understood that the halves ID and EGO have no ends.

I then look down at a list that has been suddenly provided to me from a source that is suddenly communicating with me, although I can’t see who it is.  The list is light yellowish, and each of the items on the list are numbered.  I understand that each of the items correspond to phases in my life that occurred in the past, and have been named by the source according to its point of view, who has been apparently sharing my life experience although I did not know it.

Some of the headings go something like: “I run away“, “(In Which I Behave Badly)“, and other allusions to itself by using “I”, when usually the “I” would refer to me.  There were other headings that used “you” instead to refer to myself.

I was preparing to go away on a long trip with 2 other girls, whom were better friends with each other than they were with me, across a sea.  The night before we were to leave, we were preparing on the upstairs level of a residence, someone’s home, and there was wood on the walls and the ceiling and such.  These girls’ personalities were friendly and kind of geeky, but overall pleasant.  My mother was there and was aware of my going away on this trip.

We embarked on our journey, and I recall seeing wide open sky and a vast, blue-green sea.  We didn’t get very far before we were eddied by something along the way.  I remember interacting with my mother, also, at which point I became separated from my two travel-mates.  I was swimming, too: traveling without a boat, and I can’t recall that we had a boat in the first place.

There were a few islands that I remember as well.  As I was on one, I looked all across my surroundings in all directions.  I saw a particular, natural rock formation which was at least 50′ high and 60% submerged underwater, however I could see through the water, which was crystal-clear.  The rock formations were curved around in a semi-circle and were like abandoned slabs with arches cut out in the middle.

I also recall seeing either a boat or not, but there was something large in the water that was being affected by something that the dream called a “tide pool”: a “tide pool” was actually a black shadow, mostly circular, enclosed with a light-coloured border, that traversed the ocean as if some breed of disease or creature or natural disaster.  It swallowed whatever it encountered, like a black hole.  There was another kind of danger that was similar in threat-level, but I don’t recall it.  I was swimming away, having witnessed something else that met its end at the hands of ocean-black-hole.

For some reason, I felt it true that if I didn’t want to be swallowed by the black hole, I should say so, and demonstrate by my body language as much as I could while swimming so furiously.  Actually, I didn’t believe it 100%, but I wanted to believe it and somewhere, something inside of me thought that it “could” be true.  So I smacked the surface of the water and came within inches of one such black hole; its border was organic and moved continuously, coming close so that I could see it, and I thought it resembled something that both moved on the upper-most surface of the water but that its movement was of something that had to be under the surface, too.  It was solid black.  I did manage to escape.

As I swam around in the ocean, I sensed that there were many, expanding black holes in the ocean that I was now stuck in.  I did not perceive a way to save myself.  The world shrunk suddenly, and instead of being in the open air, I was in an enclosed room that had the air of a residential home, or a cluttered, make-shift ballroom.  At any rate, it was completely flooded, and I was now a woman whom I know in my waking reality to be a friend of my mothers.

There was a man there, whom reminds me now of an ex of my mothers, whom I find to be a nice enough person.  He was quite  young and attractive, and had some romantic history with me.  In fact, we started engaging each other sexually almost immediately.  He addressed me for a few minutes, and then I made to give him oral sex, and then I woke up.  I don’t often dream about sex, and especially not this much in plain sequence that makes it easy to translate into normal memories that can be described simply.

I saw a blonde girl at first, while I or she was viewing a character called “Orion” and his dog, like the mythological hunter.  We witnessed a few of his exploits, but I do not recall this part of the dream very well at all, so I can’t be sure.  They involved some kind of tragedy.  Eventually, I perceived a strong sadness and then I saw his image fly up and get sealed into, or onto, a very tall statue like the Statue of Liberty, which was being viewed by many people, including the girl, at its foot, and I understood this to signal a “Fast-forward” to the present day.  The statue seemed to be a symbol that connected the distant past with the present day.  The girl had something multicoloured on her: I think it was a belt or necklace with beads of each colour of the rainbow.

She was going to summon Orion in the presence of the “God” of monotheistic belief systems (THE  “One” God) as well as the god of death, and the outcome would depend upon the reactions of the One-God and the Death-God at the end of the summoning.  It was a situation charged with nervousness, but I can’t remember what the purpose to the event was.  I remember hearing someone’s description of the ONE God as being the “great one” that fought and defeated many others or other people.  It was spoken of with great fear and caution.  It was almost a warning description, as if we were about to enter a hazardous zone.  I felt like I was entering an area with fallen telephone wires.

She brought a couple of pieces of paper which would be important tools in the summoning of Orion.  They were simple drawings on rectangles of paper (they seemed crude, as if they had been drawn on lined loose leaf and then cut out with a pair of scissors), two pieces I believe: thin, black lines that made basic, geometrical diagrams.  She would arrange them on top of one another in a special arrangement when carrying out the summoning.

We were at the foot of a mountain.  There were sparse coniferous trees, and the ground was of dark soil.  There was a narrow, gravel path leading up the mountain, and I recall that the weather was cool and that the sky might have been darkish, like the weather is in October.  I saw the gods in the air: of the One-God, I saw that he was mostly white with black lines and that on him, there was a black crescent and that he also had minimal other colours; and of the Death God, I only recall that he was mostly various shades of black.  I remembering sensing that neither of them could be read well, but that they were generally dissatisfied.  I wasn’t sure what they would do and I was slightly afraid, feeling powerless over their apparent superciliousness.  Orion’s suffering was not impressing them.

Then I saw that I was the end of the lane in which I live, in the back of a row of apartment buildings.  I was with Julia I think.  There we saw our neighbours, or a woman whom I don’t recognize now, but in the dream was the caregiver of a severely unruly (I think he is autistic) child.  She was taking her child for a walk around the building to get his energy out.  She was suggesting crazy body movements for him to imitate for fun, to get more of his energy out, since the walk didn’t seem to cause much exertion.  I watched her playfully, but violently and suddenly, throw him onto the ground at one point, while a social services worker was watching with a clipboard, and I was unsure of whether or not she had hurt him.  No one took notice though, so I didn’t say anything.  They disappeared around the corner and one of the social services workers (a new one) approached me while I sat on a tree branch, very near to the undercover parking entrance to one of the buildings I live beside.

We commented to each other about how the boy could be heard screaming but not his parents, and that this was a very interesting point of information that I took to be a tribute to his parents’ patience, that they were able caregivers.  She agreed.  Then I was accidentally pushed inside the undercover parking as the door came down and I had to duck underneath; she assisted me in coming out right away, while I was somehow still very close to the ceiling, at the same elevation as when I had only just previously been on the tree branch.

I followed the lane down to its end, where my building is properly, and saw a tall, blonde, heavy-set and pale man.  He was in the lot directly outside my suite, but far back against the fence that is there, talking to a woman.  He was present earlier in my dream but I no longer remember how or when.  He was also totally nude, however he was clothed before.  It was unclear as to why he was suddenly nude.  I was also suddenly with my mother.

As we each went under the carport of the building and approached her car, she commented to me that the woman he was talking to looked very uncomfortable.  I disagreed but then agreed with her after looking more closely at them.  Then a former neighbour of hers; a short lady in her mid 40s with long, grey hair  in a ponytail, and straight bangs; approached her to hand her a sum of money to help my mother look after a pair of adopted children that she had taken in.  She was there on a check-up, to make sure that everything was still in order for her to look after them properly.  She asked to look under the hood of my mother’s car.

My mother started explaining a few points about the car’s sate that I didn’t understand, but seemed to be necessary for her to excuse.  Then the car started to go forward a bit, as if the brakes were out of order.  She sounded alarmed, especially because she was between the car and a piece of the nude man’s property, which was parked right up against the back wall of the building.  This happened a few more times, and I understood too late that it was up to me to get inside the car and operate it to stop it from happening.

It happened a few more times in rapid succession and the man’s property was completely crushed.  Also, my mother was thrown under her car, which rolled over her.  I heard her make a sound in pain.  I rushed over and I lifted the car away from her and saw that she was bent over, on the ground, and that her foot was very bloody, having been completely crushed.  I was uttering in panic but was unable to control my voice above a choking, repeated gasping of “Mom”.

I’ve been having a lot of dreams lately, but I haven’t been recording them all because I’ve been discouraged by the incoherent quality of the memories due to the parts that I forget.  I’m intent upon learning how to lucid dream still also.  I’m considering doing more research into herbal aids to supplement my regime.

It’s been a really difficult few months for me, so hopefully this project will just naturally pick up again.  I can’t say that I know how this effort will add to my future, considering how many other things I’ve let fall to the wayside and should probably invest this effort into picking THOSE things up, but to be honest, this is the only thing I can get excited about lately.  I look forward to dreaming quite a bit, though I can’t say why exactly.  It’s really not as though I’ve concluded anything about the worth or significance of the dreams themselves, other than it seems to serve a purpose… since I seem to keep doing it.

First Dream:

I recall next to nothing of this dream, however:

I was climbing up a large, man-made tower that was grey-coloured.  At the top, there were many places to step out and be mostly outside, however still within the structure of the building.  Many balconies and supporting beams without walls, imagine.  There were two other male figures: one was young and kind of pudgy, with a bit of a chip off his shoulder, and the other I do not recall at all.  There was also some kind of male announcer in a blue suit, who regarded the bad attitude of the aforementioned boy.  For some reason, we were all up there because of some achievement made by either the boy or by him and myself, or by us 2 plus one other person.

The boy was going to demonstrate something to do with his achievement in a special room up higher on the tower, nearly at the top.  All around us, far below, there was water.  It looked like we were just off the coast of a large, metropolitan city like New York City or Vancouver.  As I looked over the railing, I saw that there were naturally-forming symbols on the surface of the water, as if the rain itself were drawing and redrawing them.  I got the attention of the other two, and reflected on the fact that nature itself was behind it, and thought that the significance of it should be examined, but that I myself did not know the significance specifically.

The symbol itself looked like the diagram of how a telescope suffers a diffraction fringe:

Click for illustration

^Kind of like that, only the width was much less apparent as compared to its length (up-and-down).  They were laid in scores all across the surface of the water.

For some reason, I felt that I had to address the whole of whoever was onlooking, and I could sense that it was quite a lot of people, and that the symbols would bear significance to them as well.  I was howling out over the railing like an animal then, and regarding whomever I thought was observing.  I couldn’t actually see anyone, and I felt excited.

May 9th – First Dream:
I’m in the interior of a large, well-lighted building or centre/complex, similar to the large interior of a recreational center, or a mall.  There were many windows and a lot of busy people, doing things amongst themselves.  I was nearby a ‘station’, which was like a small island similar to a lifeguard’s station.  There were strange trees growing out of it’s back, with neon yellow mosses growing on the sides of the tree.  There was a dark-haired little girl with an independent personality climbing up a couple meters on the tree, who didn’t notice me but knew who I was.  Julia was also there.  I grabbed the girl down without thinking, and explained myself nervously that I thought I saw something which made me anticipate her falling, but I was lying, and embarrassed of having that impulse to wanting to do something heroic.

Then everyone around me seemed to be upset over some newly-developed emergency situation.  I had the sense that we were all members of the same clan ala the Na’vi on Pandora, from Avatar.  I sensed the name “Tracy” as the name of a human woman, or non-native Na’vi and contemplated the pronunciation of it as being agreeable-sounding, as said by a native Na’vi (Turay she? lol).

Then I perceived myself flying on the back of an enormous owl, whom I felt connected with and consider now that it must have been my personal mount.  We were en route the danger that everyone had been reacting to.  I anticipated meeting a great beast as I flew over many miles of variously forested, natural landscape.  It didn’t look native to Earth but then again, it only seemed untouched by man and so very overgrown.

At one point, the owl and I turned to face each other and I sensed a moment of sexual energy or interfacing, but there was no sexual act or anything like that, only a moment that passed; we really only turned and faced each other – I’m not even sure it looked at me.  Then I can’t remember how, but we encountered the beast, which was a giant, black wolf.  The wolf was as big as a house.  Somehow, I was separated from my owl and had to face the wolf on foot.

I used a sword and ran around on the grasses amidst his feet.  We were in a clearing that was soaked with water or at least, lush and vivid so I perceived a lot of water in the atmosphere in retrospect.  The edges of this clearing were  covered with dense forest, but I could still see the sky.  It wasn’t bright blue, but it was dark blue and there were clouds.  I could sense all the expanse of land separating me and the wolf from where I had originally come from.

I had a special technique that was very effective against the wolf for a few tries, but eventually my small size and lack of anything other than my two feet to run around his paws (one paw was almost as big as I was) caused me to be harmed quite often.  Very quickly, after a few blows, he advanced and his maw descended to devour me.  I died, but I do remember that I have memory of the next few moments, only I don’t remember how I got there.  I remember waking up somewhere else, with the awareness of my same personality as I had while fighting the wolf.

Second Dream:

I remember driving along a long road with other cars, in a truck, with a little girl.  We were father and daughter.  We had dark skin and dark hair, like people from the middle east.  I was commenting to her that technology’s advancement was very impressive to me; for example, we or some other people had, with NASA, traveled to outer space that morning!  She didn’t seem very impressed by that, and I reflected on how kid’s weren’t easy enough to impress anymore.

On one side, there was a railing which separated the road from a descent or ditch of some kind, which became some kind of forested ravine or something.  On the other side, there was a steeply inclined hill with buildings.

We veered off the side of the road suddenly, in an accident.  I remember being afraid that we might end up quite hurt, but we were actually okay.  We got out of the car and were in the midst of many grasses and trees.  There were people coming over the side of the railing from the road to help us.  Among them was Gordon Ramsay, who met me and talked to me immediately in a friendly way.

We were led out of that area along a dirt road with flattened, yellow grasses, surrounded by more of this ‘road-side’ shrubbery.  There was a pack of dogs that ran amongst us and ahead of us, each of them coming quite close and I did not sense right away that they were safe to pet or to engage.  They were owned by men that I did not know.  My mother was there.

As we walked up and got closer to the end of the path, I saw a wooden sign with an indication to ‘fish and chips’, but it was comprised of crudely etched symbols to represent the words ‘fish’ and ‘and’, almost as a joke.  As I stared at it, my surroundings changed, and I became a youngish-man in the house that I currently live in during my waking life.

I was strumming a guitar, barely awake, trying to find the sound which best resembled a popular Our Lady Peace tune.  As I did, I was successful, but then heard the tune coming from outside the window, and thought that perhaps I didn’t create the sound after all.  As I turned to look out the window, a group of different adults were trying to enter my home.  I sensed that I recognized them and that they were my friends, but I can’t say who they were now.  There was one blonde man with a white shirt and facial hair.  He seemed very intent upon coming in through the window, and a few of them were even trying to remove the screen on the windows in the living room.  They didn’t even seem to notice my much, or that I seemed surprised to see them, and especially surprised that they were apparently breaking-and-entering.

I was being set up by part of a team who were working with an old haunted house that had been customized wit ha record number of trap doors and was advertised in the tabloids in London.  the team had selected me to be part of their ‘show’ in which people were pulled through painting frames on the walls as if by ghosts.

I experienced one viewing of the interior of the house, walking alongside a few windows and viewing paintings of its previous owners, which had apparently been Sylvester Stallone as his character in Scarface.  As the ghost of sylvester stallone appeared in his paintiners, he animated his teeth and eyes, silently threatening violence against whomever he arbitrarily chose.  I saw the eyes and teeth move in dull grey and white and felt that the violence he promised was real.

Then I was looking from the inside of the wall, out through a painting frame and felt myself suddenly grabbed and pulled from my sides by the people operating the ‘show’.  It was very confusing and I was pulled across a great distance, along an arc in the darkness through the interior of the house, and was deposited at a table in a location somewhere deeper inside with two other people who didnt seem to notice me much as they were busy talking about this operation of theirs, which they had been operating now for the second time, and were quite pleased with house successful they had been.  I wondered if they had been making a television program out of it.  It was then that they told me how they came into acquiring the house – that they had researched it and found it through the tabloids.  being such a successful group of kids, they had managed to purchase the rights to be able to carry out their show inside it.

Then I realized that I had to leave and reappear at another location, a school or something, and that everyone would regroup there.  I reappeared at a telephone in front of a table, and looking into someone else’s home.  I was trying to phone an east indian man whom was invited or due to appear for the same reasons as me, and I think I could see him there, as I was looking into his home.  I sensed that perhaps it was a date to sing or perform, but I dont recall why.  The old man was seated in a living room, and although i was phoning him, I was suddenly in his home, not just looking into, and could see his family and no longer had to talk to him with the telephone.

I saw people on couches in this darkly clad living room, in which the curtains were drawn and the floors were carpeted or rugged.  I could see beyond that there was a hall connecting it to the front door, which was just around the corner, but I could not see it.  Then the grandfather of the family was bundled up and taken closer to where I was, and propped up at the piano there.  I didn’t understand what was going on and I was unable to communicate properly with anyone for a while; I suppose there was a language barrier.  But abruptly, someone there announcd to me, as I was getting worried and sensing that I was just part of the increasingly disorganized nature of the situation, that the ‘two mighty men or heads of the family’ were to appear at this engagement and had to go immediately so as not to be late.  They seemed irked.  I think that they were some father figure or similar to that sort.

I agreed but didn’t really understand as I hadn’t been informed to that much detail.  I assumed or tried to go unnoticed as I silently planned to travel to the destination with the family, as I had also to go, but hadn’t made plans as to how I was to get there, and so assembled myself with them on their stairs at the front of their house’s doorway to the outside.  I was busy trying to change from slippers to shoes.  as I looked outside, I became part of their group of children and family members and mother and older generation trying to get organized in a run-down car.  The father drove up along the side of the road and started acting angry and confused about why we weren’t already ready to go.  I can’t remember right, but I think he either drove off or left us his car.

The mother was a tall and western-seeming woman: she wore her hair long and wavy, had a kind of ‘perfect’ figure with long legs and a small waist but decently proportioned hips and shoulders, and wore a house-wife costume (apron, long dress, short sleeves, etc).  Her face bore a handsome countenance.  She was also the driver.  As we drove the crappy car, I had to be aware of some attachment on the side of the passenger seat that I was in: a horizontal line of squares like a zipper, or trim, that I had to jiggle at certain times according to her instruction: “biri biri biri” – in order to allow some malfunctioning part of the car to work properly.  Everything seemed to be falling apart; the door especially seemed almost ready to come right off.  At first, I didn’t get this correctly, but the second time I was successful, and she seemed lighter-hearted that we were starting to coalesce a little better.

We started to drive across a long field of flattened, yellow, dry grass that had many hills and potholes.  in the distance, I could see some houses and the road that we would turn down to approach the school (again, I’m reminded of my elementary school’s area).  We suddenly encountered one such pothole that sent us careening forward so suddenly that I came out through the windshield and out of my seat, and then quickly hit the ground a few meters in front of where the car broke down.  Although it was a violent impact, I didn’t seem to be hurt very much at all.  All the children came out and others, and helped me up, and I went back to see the car with the mother.  We saw that the car was now inoperable.

She and I and the rest started to walk on forward in lieu of no longer having the car to drive.  She described that she would have to go and get another car, however eluded that her family’s finances were rather unable to support another expense like that.  Despite this, she didn’t behave as upset as I would expect her to.  She said that these things sometimes would make her start to hate fridays very much, and she wished they’d hurry up and be over with, or something to that effect.  She said that she would now instead prefer Tuesdays, which is when she would have  frozen yoghurt.  Then she mentioned the sixties I think, but I could be wrong, but I then also started to see my vision filled with blue, and as though steam were rising before a white, criss-cross pattern like the tiles on the wall of a shower.  I saw thin lines animate the phrase ’60s’, and I think now that it was as though they were written with toothepaste.

I was riding in a carriage; Julia was in the back with me and my mother’s ex was in the driver’s seat for some reason, although he fades from importance almost immediately; I remember the carriage’s interior was reddish on the inside, and outside there were many blossoms on all the trees.  I recall the area around which we drove was like skirting the perimeter of a gated castle.  The castle grounds all around were decorated by trees that were in blossom.  The blossoms were of every colour: some trees’ blossoms were rainbow while others were of only one colour.  I was being told the story of a woman suddenly, and as I was told more of it, I actually transferred my point of view from my own to hers.  It started out ‘perfectly’ for her, in which she was to marry some guy from another kingdom, in an alternate reality or universe from her original (which I understand to be the same as mine).

However, for some reason, on the day that she was to be wed, she did something for which she could not be forgiven and affected the whole of the kingdom, and perhaps also the world that the kingdom was in.  The punishment for the crime was that she was to suffer “3 eternal devils”, but the details about them were not clear.

The day came where she had to relive the devils, or meet them again, but for some reason, she couldn’t remember at all that she had done any kind of crime nor could she remember that she was to marry the man who would deliver the devils to her.  At this time I was aware of my new appearance, as her: light, slate eyes and long, wavy, sandy brown hair with pale complexion.  He would appear and set them on her, she was told.  She was with someone else at this time who was in full awareness of who she was and that she was to encounter her devils presently – it was a woman I believe, but I can’t remember that certainly.

She was lead to a school resembling my elementary school.  They entered through the traditional entrance, and I noted that the weather had turned cloudy and that the wind had picked up in an ominous way.  This other female figure with whom she ran seemed very sympathetic to her plight, but seemed also to be leading to her where she knew the man would be able to find her easily.  The woman followed her without question however.

The two women entered a classroom finally, and inside there was another teacher and the light was dim.  It was well furnished with the various kinds of things you would expect a grade-schooler’s classroom to have strewn about, and all over the walls, such as chalk-easels.  In the center there was a collection of dividers, or miniature walls, and you might expect them to be part of some kind of play-classroom or child’s playhouse.  It was actually another, miniature classroom.  The two of them entered into it and into an inner chamber, which had little tables and chairs and other toys.  In this little area I could still see the windows to the outside, so its light filtered in: dim, white and greyish, like sun through stormclouds.

The man appeared through the direction of the windows in the corner of the classroom, and looked as though he had gone a long time without sleep.  He was unshaven, tall, thin, and had salt-and-pepper, short hair in a modern hairstyle.  He had a black cloak on and black pants.  He was Caucasian.  He recognized me immediately and approached me, apparently impatient to get the delivery underway.  I was backed into a corner but I did not resist him.  Instead, I was in a hurry to learn what it was that I had done, and besides that, was more than willing to accept what I didn’t seem to be able to reject anyway.

He sat before me with a little toy in his lap, that had plastic red, large buttons on it.  I don’t know its significance.  I felt my face was held in a very nervous and worried expression, and it was almost tiresome to maintain.  I was simply staring at him, mesmerized by what he looked like and what he represented, which was a mystery that I was apparently part of.  I felt guilty because I sensed that I had caused great suffering to him and had done something that I did indeed deserve – he didn’t seem happy to see me, after all.  I begged him to tell me what I had done, and he agreed suddenly, and started to tell me the first tale.

As he started to tell the story, I could also see a vision that went along with the words.  It was a black room with many candles in a single layer, arranged together in a sort of circular shape.  I don’t remember for sure, but I think that this event took place on the wedding night; either way, it seemed to be part of some kind of ceremony that had an overall ‘good’ air to it.  I had the sense that it was part of a celebration of some kind.  He spoke of ’60 little spirits’ and I wondered if the candles represented these spirits.  He spoke of them fondly, as if they were his children.  His expression changed emphatically and he seemed almost desperate in remembrance of them.  He started to talk about some kind of ‘little breath’ or sound, and mimicked the shape of what would make that sound with his mouth – a puckered shape, and started to imitate the sound as well.  It sounded like wind picking up through the trees.  I stared at the shape of his mouth and as I did, I felt the painfully-maintained tension in my face start to lessen.  I was no longer in control of the lessening tension I realized, and I felt like I was falling asleep.  As I felt myself falling asleep, I woke up slowly.

The start of the dream I do not very well remember.  These were a group of different dreams all scattered across the night and I don’t know how they were broken up but I’ll do my best.

I remember being in the middle of a great city that appeared to be from the future.  The buildings were grouped close together and rose very high over everything else.  the roads were narrow and there were lanes that arched over the roads as well I feel.  I navigated on foot, walking on the roads, and was expected or on my way to someone else’s party.  The host of the party was a family, a very rich family and I recall only the daughter and the mother.  I was listening to music, but now I recall a part of the dream that could have occurred before this part, in fact I’m not sure at all but my memories are disjointed so I’ll pause to describe this portion too:

I was located in some other place away from the city.  It was more like the place that I recall from growing up with my father, which was a more rural sort of area just outside of the city I usually lived.  I don’t recall parts of the city itself but rather, the inside of the house that I was in, which was similar to that of my father’s old home; the similarities lie in the hallway and the kitchen/diningroom layout.  There was a man there who was connected to the creation of art; visual and/or music; and in the artwork there were many figures, each coloured uniquely and identifiable by their colours.  I had the distinct feeling that these colours and also, their costumes, spoke for them and their abilities or their role in the group that they were in.  One was black and had little stars in their lap or around their torso area; they appeared to be unhappy, or at least had a different kind of bodily disposition, one less open.  One I don’t recall the colours because I had the feeling that they were representative of something I would call “light” in my own words.  The others around them were numerous so they didn’t seem to be important or in charge at all, although light/dark are usually superior polarities in groups of elementally divided things.  They reminded me of mermaids or fairies.

I felt like he should have known who I was, or that I wanted to speak to him or to talk to him about my artwork, or his artwork.  This part of the dream is very hard to remember, and I don’t even really recall that the world obeyed regular physics; the floor seemed to be unstable although it conformed to every step I took, and I did not have to worry about falling either.  It was my visual perception that was affected and so then my memories now.  It was all very fluid.  I also had the sense that he was sketchy or regarded that way.  He had glasses I think, and short hair that was a light brown or had blonde in it.  We were unable to connect although I continued to want to, or to try to.  I stayed out of his way I believe because I was not sure of something, myself or what was happening just in general.

Then I remember the music – I had my headphones going and the lyrics were particularly strange, sung by a woman who didn’t seem to be writing them.  She seemed to be improvising.  At this point I was in the city that I described at the head of the dream.  I took my headphones off at one point to listen for the words, if they would come to my mind, but I don’t know why anymore I did this.  They did not come and then the music was no longer part of the dream that I remember it in any way.  So I was wandering through the city, searching for the party if I remember right, but I don’t really remember that detail so solidly.  I appeared at the party; it was at a mansion along the outskirts of the city because it was nearby some more natural things as I would later see.

The party was full of people that I didn’t know.  It was not decorated only populated; I don’t really even remember any music or dancing, just crowds and also low lights – fluorescent, dimly glowing, green and perhaps blue.  I also remember the daughter – she was clad in makeup and dark clothes and was not well-liked.  She reminded me of the Red Queen from Alice in Wonderland actually; her mother did as well to some degree.  Anyway I remember seeing her in a row, against a balcony of sorts with people along either side of her.  Her face was kept in a steady expression although I could see that she was bewildered slightly, or disturbed by something going on amidst the people or maybe amidst her thoughts; I wonder if she had been told something or had witnessed something.

I also recall confronting her mother about a videotape of her cheating on someone, her husband I guess: the tape was explicitly sexual, on VHS, and I don’t remember how I got it or why I cared.  she was very upset with me and our confrontation escalated to the point wherein we were physically hurting each other, or at least, struggling against each other.  We parted not long after that, and neither of us were hurt, however she was very ruffled.  she left the house through a side door that left to the daylight.  She was going with a man I believe.  at this point I wandered back around the house through the inside, to the balcony area and to where the rest of the people were.  I was in a hurry because I perceived potential danger to myself if I stayed.

My grandparents were there.  I insisted that they hurry up with their arranging to go, which I think they were already going to do, albeit slower than what I wanted, so I insisted on helping.  I packed up their things and arranged them on top of their vehicle, which was a boat; I didn’t leave outside but suddenly, I was on the road outside the house, and I could see that it dropped off a short cliff to an inlet of water.  This appeared to be connected to the sea or ocean, or some similar large body of water.  I couldn’t really communicate the danger I perceived to them because I didn’t want to upset them, so I only helped.  Julia was there and was pleased by the boat and by the fact that I was doing something with it; she aided a little bit, but mostly wanted inclusion for the fun.  We eventually got going and then the dream turned away from the mansion party, the danger and the city.  We were now being shown a fishing demonstration.

My grandfather was demonstration his boat’s machine and it’s mechanical way of catching some very large fish; the machine itself was extremely dangerous, and consisted of long rolling cylinders that drew up the fish and rolled through the water, attached to the back of the boat.  I could see the bodies of the fish hung stationary within as it advanced over the water.  My grandfather seemed very pleased but I couldn’t help but ponder the fact that both he and my grandmother were very old.  He said that I should go on a “Goddamned ride” sometime, or in some similar words, in a friendly way.  He was insinuation that I relax a little and spend some time with him and I agreed.  Anyway, the dream started to turn away from my grandparents at this time, as I wandered onto the deck to watch the scenery around us as we sailed away.

Now, I could detect the sun that was at my left and higher in the sky.  The sun was bright and the shadows were short and stark.  The water was turquoise.  Across the inlet, there was a small island populated by dark green trees and carpeted thickly by similarly-coloured moss and other shrubs.  There was a group of dark brown bison; one was a mother I perceived, and one was her young (they may have just been a family unit).  The younger one looked at me and turned around, spun, a few times simply for its own and my own amusement.  I imitated it as for some reason I felt that I was expected to.  It was a motion just for fun, that is what I felt.  I communicated with the bison somehow: it told me something about doing my homework to mitigate the other things that may be going on in my life, to keep things in balance (“equatorial or whatever that world should be” or something to that effect, haha).  So we continued to sail and my grandparents faded away; the deck itself extended and there were tables and other characters appeared too.

I was at a table with Julia, and I could suddenly see that my costume had changed.  It was now very effeminate and coloured in white and some kind of turquoise too?  I don’t actually remember the costume’s colours very well, but I remember lookign down at myself and seeing that I wasn’t dressed like most people could safely dress themselves outside in the real, waking world.  Julia was across from me and I had another friend with me as well – she was very small and from another country: we couldn’t communicate but there was a bond that was more gestural between us.  I assumed she was Julia’s friend as well.

Some boys approached us, and a girl eventually sat very close next to me.  They were jeering and goading me silently before they started to do so with words as well, of course on account of my clothes and the fact that I would appear as though romantically involved with Julia.  Once the girl sat next to me, I assume at the prompt of one of the boys, she pressed back softly against my body as if to tease me with her assets, so to speak.  I didn’t respond and was unsure of what to do really, but I affirmed my relationship to Julia, assuring them that I wasn’t going to be able to feel anything since I was already with Julia.

Then I was a few paces beyond there, joined by my smaller friend.  She was about to wield some artistic skill of hers, and in it I saw that she had two bodies when she did so: one body lay motionless nearby with its mouth open wide (I stood nearby to guard it as there was another boy prowling around who was still in the mood to tease and be carelessly rough; I felt like she could have gotten hurt with him around), and one danced and sang while a decorated parchment unfurled as a prop to her performance.  She was describing the pictures on the scroll as if telling it’s story.

There were three figures that she described, but I don’t remember any but the first.  There was a small king with long, curly brown hair (actually it wasn’t coloured on the scroll but I felt inclined to say that).  The king held something before him – a long pole-shaped staff, but it’s details may have been much more than that, only I remember just the general shape.  The scroll stretched on before her so I’m not remembering much at all.

Another part of the dream occurred but I do not know where it fits.  At this point, events take place inside another kind of city which seems to me to be more within the era that I’m currently living.  I was with my mother and with Julia I think, but I can’t be too sure.  I do think that’s true though.  We were inside a store in the middle of the city; there were books and many shelves, a many patrons.  I left the store at one point and returned later to see that something bad had happened.  A group of people had done something to put everyone else in danger, and had since left.  I could see that everyone felt unsafe and my mother was reflecting those sentiments as well.  The employees were organizing everyone and trying to mitigate the fear, as though someone had attacked them or had staged a robbery.  I remember thinkign to myself that I was familiar with whomever it was that did whatever they did, because I had seen them before (there was a rough description).  I didn’t feel so ill-inclined towards them just yet though because I couldn’t understand their motive nor could I really comprehend that someone of their disposition would be able to do anything so bad.  I felt like they had simply scared everyone.  My mother uttered something to someone who worked there that she had been afraid, especially about …something to do with Korea.  I don’t remember that well enough anymore.

Anyway we left that place and the dream took me elsewhere, with Julia.  This part had something to do with an application or information I had filled out with her, for her schooling, so we were at a psychological therapy building.  In its waiting room, I pondered the contents and the information that I’d put on my application.  I had supplied sensitive information about myself, including things such as a few of the more difficult issues I am currently challenged by.  I expected to wait for a long time, but I was called up first.  He uttered my middle name when he called me I think?

I went into his office and was surprised that Julia strayed in the waiting room behind me.  I sat on a chair that seemed to be for someone going in to see him, and put my stuff on the floor and my headphones on for storage (safer to store them that way); however, he came in and dragged out a cushion for the floor and told me that I should do the same.  He answered my query about if he preferred it that way usually and he said yes.  Immediately I found him to be very friendly and easy to be comfortable with.  He had an accent that I can’t place but if I tried, I would have to say Chile or something.  He was pale and had black hair.

He went right away into the issue of hearing voices and about the potential for psychosis that I might have.  He also agreed that I could show him some of my relevant drawings that I kept in my book that I take around with me.  Sadly then I woke up, before we could have a session of any substance.

Last night I had a series of several dreams, interrupted each by waking up and having some minor trouble falling back asleep.  They were each very vivid and inundated with challenges, often quite dangerous, but perhaps not exactly violent, the exception being in the last dream.

I don’t know that I can write them all down, but I’ll try and roughly outline some of them.

In one dream, I was actually part of a duo.  The duo consisted of me as some younger, effeminate boy version of myself whom took that polar opposite to my friend, whom was a taller man with black hair.  He had facial hair and we traveled in between worlds I have the feeling; the worlds themselves were akin to space or to some other open expanse which could be traveled and one could find different worlds or lands between.  It was a dark and had the feeling of being in the future somehow, and there weren’t that many people.  There were structures similar to that of a cityscape or of even a playground in some parts of it.  The structures themselves could be climbed onto or over, so that is why I’d describe them that way.  I don’t remember how we interacted with the people, but there were a few interactions.  We were inside of a ship at one point as well.

Strangely, at one point I believe that we were dogs, or that I was a dog.  The dog that I was or we were (?) was kind of similar to Scooby-Doo.  I believe this dream blended into another one over some time and we became one dog – a dog with black hair and the shape of the kind of dog that Scoob is.  The black hair was around my jaw and over my chin, but without a moustache.  I’d say the facial hair pattern was similar to that of Campbell’s from Shining Force III, only perhaps a little thicker.

There was also some difficulty in bearing sexual stimulation at some point… not from him I don’t think and not from anyone that I can remember, but it was mostly a  simple discomfort or disease with bearing it, but I really do not remember how exactly.  This world grew also and became something a little more barren and hard of weather – cold, grey, some green, and long rolling hills over which we traveled.  I had the feeling that it was some otherworldly place as well, off the planet Earth anyway.  Stripes on the hills and you could see quite far because there weren’t much in the way of steep hills or anything like that, but the sky was dark.

This man I had the sense was from Russia or had some kind of connection to Russia, as I described him to Julia at one point in which she appeared in the dream to us.  I described to her that he had knowledge of growing things, particularly pumpkins (?!).  She took well to him.  I also informed her that we, or I, considered ourselves the “dogs” and at that, she said that we shouldn’t feel that way.  I wasn’t sure yet if I should have agreed that us as the dogs was a bad thing, but we had been alone up until that point so I would agree that at least we were together as a group of people who could communicate with each other.

At this point the dream melted into another one, which assumed the world form more similar to that of my normal, everyday waking world – the interior of the ship or station that we had been at became more like my house/bedroom, and in the bedroom the candle that we burnt last night was still burning.  I also perceived the presence of my astronomy teacher and astronomy class, and even the presence of my classmates – however there were some people there who are not in class with me, rather they have been or have been people I’ve known in my life.  They were in the class in the dream anyway.  Now it gets a little fuzzy.

The man with the black hair disappeared but Julia did not.  At first I was being chastised for not handing in my work properly or not listening well enough to instructions, for I was a little lost in what to do while clearly the class was following some instruction given by the teacher.  She seemed a little displeased with me, so I sought the note I have from Melady about my predicament as of late to show her, so that she might ease up.  The note itself I don’t recall showing her, but I do recall confronting a blonde girl from my past who decided then that it was a good time to be annoying to me.  I went up in her face and told her not to get in my face, and tried not to be too obnoxious albeit still stern.  No one chided me for that and I didn’t think I deserved to chide myself so I carried on.  The teacher seemed disinterested so I let her alone.

I have a little gap in my memory here, but I remember looking around the room and seeing the teacher at her desk in the corner, where Julia usually sits.  She was at her computer and I’m not sure how, but I remember detecting something strange about her computer.  Something black and shaped organically, like an animal, and I would later connect this blob to a squid – a cephalopod.  I went into the other room and the dream started to pick up speed very fast.  I was joined by many other people who were picking up on the same animal and informing me of its presence.  We all agreed that this animal was invading our space somehow, and also that it was formidable and had not been overcome effectively yet.  It was a “saprophigous cephalopod” or “saprophilous cephalopod” – a cephalopod that feeds on dead things, or dead wood, or something like that.  Anyway regardless of whether or not it nourished itself on dead things, it was definitely some form of squid of malevolent marine creature that seemed intent on getting to me, and weakening or even overcoming me.  The forms that it took were many, and I don’t remember all of them.  I do remember coming face to face with its grotesque size and silent nature however.

One man told me, a friendly man, that we could get together and talk about it or just that he would have liked to be friendly with me on our own terms, that I might find some solace and comfort in someone else whilst all this was going on.  The beast itself was still prominent as we all conversed and caught each other up on the situation as we had individually experienced it, and even had to fight it a few times.  It was clear that I needed company, or maybe not – but either way we were together and that seemed of benefit I would assume.  Strength in numbers?

The dream then changed again to something completely different, and this dream had a different cast of characters and took place entirely inside of some weird complex.  The complex had halls, winding narrow halls, and was some kind of institution.  Different wings of the institution were of different purpose, such as one such wing which appeared to be a music school.

This place’s characters were strange.  One of which was Greg and also a child, perhaps Josh (I think definitely Josh now), and some colleagues of his.  There was also two others: jung and some other religious, old scholar.  Actually I would consider them both old scholars, and not that i definitely knew that the one should have been called Jung (or Freud, which is the name I had been wont to call him, even though I didn’t know his name for sure).  Strangely, they were more like bobble-head, mini, or chibi people than they might have been in reality.  They walked around slowly and were friendly, laughed a lot and were just positive aspects of the dream.  Greg however was not exactly positive and seemed wary of me, even dangerous but mitigated in that, because he was paranoid, even though he seemed as though he could have been dangerous.  Indeed he seemed to be making choices that put me into danger a number of times, but I never felt afraid of him.

The situations involved installing fireplaces with large columns of concrete or other such building material.  They were being smashed and knocked around and I knew that a mistake could be lethal.  I saw the potential carnage in my mind’s eye in the dream every other moment.

When we were with Josh and the colleagues, we went into Toys R Us or some similar place.  There was a gun involved and Josh was fond of my being there, however Greg was not.  I wonder now that he was acting nervously and unpredictably just because of Josh’s presence.  There was a gun involved too and I believe Greg had it, or I had it, but that part didn’t last too long.  I didn’t feel in fear of it and I did not expect to be shot.  In fact I was almost always eyeing Greg as though I expected him to accidentally kill himself in whatever stupid scheme he was onto, or nervous obsession he was focused on.  I didn’t actually wish him any harm but I didn’t think that he was someone I could simply let alone.  I had to watch him for my own safety, or at least so that I could keep up the appearance of a semi-stable relationship with him, since I wasn’t ready for it to change.  That would have been very annoying and dangerous.

I recall that I followed the halls down with two others; I don’t remember who they were anymore.  We followed the long halls down to the music school portion, and passed some artwork on the way.  The walls were close around us and the ceiling was low as well.  As we passed the strings section, my heart ached and I wanted to play with them very much.  We continued along to another section: there were glass windows looking into a practise room full of kids and a teacher.  Interestingly, there were chairs in front of these windows, and from there you could play a larger instrument which looked similar to the interface of an overturned harp, only a couple feet deep though, more like a hammered dulcimer.  One of the men I was with sat down and started to play obnoxiously, interrupting the class.  At first the teacher and students found him to be only amusing, but he wouldn’t listen to them when they asked him to stop.  I left them at this point and went back alone.

As I passed artwork, I passed mini-Freud again, and he was uncharacteristically upset and actually had his hands together as if in confession.  He was beside his friend, who was also sad for some reason.  They appeared to be in great distress; Freud appeared to be relating his problems to his friend (I forgot to mention that he had a huge nose that had a prominent crease dividing it down the middle).  At this point though I followed on past them because I didn’t want to interrupt.  I didn’t get very far before parts of the ceiling started to descend down onto us: these were line wooden dividers lined with barbs, or steel spikes.  Freud and his friend started to get upset, being pushed down onto the floor by this descending walls of death.  They were slow enough that I could hear him wonder aloud what was going on.

I coudl feel them start to depress me right along my middle.  I felt them alternately depress and relieve, and I wasn’t sure if I was dying or not.  I wondered to myself if I was really dying, or even if I thought I was really dying – if that could really be possible.  “Do I really think I’m going to die?” I asked myself almost with a sigh, as if I would be so impudent as to think that I probably wasn’t going to.  Then I woke up.