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Category Archives: Lucid Dreams

Don’t really remember my dreams well lately, except for random flashes and images.

Had a couple half-lucid dreams in which I saw some things that I have dreamt about before:

I was sitting beside a girl in class, and we were looking at letters that we had written for each other.  On hers, her name, which usually starts with J, started with an “E” and was something like Emerry.  She said she was quite a handful as a child, and I got the feeling that I would read more about that in her letter.

I woke up and dreamt about still being on my bed immediately, or rather, was lucid dreaming it.  I suddenly remembered that I had gotten some information before falling asleep the previous night that an alter of mine might have told me that its name was “changed”, and that it started with an “E”.  I couldn’t recall the name in the dream of the girl, so I focused on the intention of finding that letter again in my hand so I could look at it.  As I did, immediately, everything started to go much fuzzier; it was like I was being denied that information.  So I let it go.

Then I did something else in bed, which I don’t recall.  I think there was something to do with a large spider with many, many legs (30, 40 – lots) that I was trying to avoid.

I went out into my apartment and saw that the door was open, which annoyed me.  On the floor in front of the door was a ring of keys that were attached to another, smaller ring of keys.  Altogether, there must have been over 10-15 keys on it.  There were a lot.  It looked like it had been discarded.

I turned around, wondering if my landlord’s assistant had been there earlier and then had left?  I walked into the living room, which was now laid with carpet.  On the opposite wall were hanging 3 or 4, flat, metal frame-like objects and I did not know what they were.  There was also some kind of Christmas tree or two around.

The house became my mother’s house.  I went into the kitchen wearing just boxers and looked like I had just been sleeping.  There were children at the window.  I went into the dining room, where my mother’s ex and my little brothers were.  I heard from the kitchen, and then saw when I turned around, that the children were passing each other/climbing through the window.  I told them not to do that.

Julia appeared.  She called my mother’s ex “heartless” because he didn’t want to let one of my brothers play outside.

I then became very interested by something on the TV in the living room, which was quite dim and surreal-seeming.  There was a music video playing by a favourite band of mine.  It was animated in a darker style.  I can’t recall what actually took place in the video however.  I might have been singing along to it or something.  I then moved away from the TV, to the stairs.

Again, not much in the way of connective tissue between dream fragments remembered this morning.  I also recall only shadows of images that were important in the dream, but not enough of the actual images themselves for a decent description.

A couple of nights ago, I was half-dreaming as I fell asleep, and wondering to myself why it was that I couldn’t remember my dreams well lately.  I thought I heard an answer in my head that went something akin to chastising me for not investing enough energy into carrying out the dream work that I’ve been promising myself I’d do lately.  I’m reading a book by Robert Johnson about interpreting dreams, and I quite like the book so far.  I haven’t finished it, but I figure that once I do, I will be able to more confidently approach the dream analysis task.  It involves writing down associations to images, and in general just lots of writing.  So that was on my mind this morning as I could not remember but more than fragments… how am I supposed to interpret my dreams on only fragments and shadows?  I’ll misinterpret the images if I’m filling in the blanks as my conscious mind thinks it might have been.  I certainly don’t dream what I expect, so that just won’t work for obvious reasons.

Anyway, onto the dream fragments:

I recall being in Africa, or a country that was called ‘Africa’ at one point.  It was daytime for nearly the entirety of the dream.  This country was mountainous, dry, dusty, and non-industrialized.  The inhabitants were dark-skinned and spoke with an accent.  I was making my way somewhere up across a mountain range; it was all light-brown, steeply inclined and there were dried out shrubbery along the way.  Then I remember pitching a tent, or regarding a tent.  It was a thick, grey-brown fabric that made the tent.  Inside, it was quite spacious, but obviously a well-worn tent.  I heard a voice, or remember being told by one of the natives, about why they liked using the tent: the mosquitoes, they said, were quite bothersome and the tent provided relief.  There was something specific about this bit of dialogue that I wish I could remember; it had something to do with opening it and the amount of mosquitoes that would be there in the morning.

Then, the tent became a vehicle.  I don’t remember actually using it or riding in it, but I think that I must have.  Anyway, it behaved more like a rocket than a tent when it transformed.  It’s appearance stayed the same, but it shot down the side of the mountain enrobed in a white and blue glow that trailed after it, like a comet.  It went extremely fast.  Eventually, it arrived at a small town or encampment of the natives.

This encampment was crudely constructed but impressive nonetheless. It had many dark brown, wooden structures, a wharf and many people.  The water that the wharf was built over was very bright, fluorescent cyan and opaque.  Facing it from the wharf, across this narrow inlet which emptied into the city, I remember a huge wall or rockface that went straight up.  I detected my mother‘s presence too.  I recall being in the water then; it glowed very brightly.  At this point, I described the awesome tent from before to my mother.

Next, I remember being on the other side of the water, close against the wall.  I could see that on my left, the inlet kept going and went around a corner to where I could not see further, but there was white light coming from one of the directions.  It might have been going in two directions actually.  We were on an elevator, and I think one or both of my half-brothers were there.  Something about the technology of this elevator was very impressive, and I also remember seeing the images of cartoon illustrations that were reminiscent of Pokémon.  My mother was still there, and I was, or we were, trying to convey how the technology of the elevator was incredible.

Mysteriously, I was next in my apartment, and Julia was there.  We were facing each other in the living room, and something was between us.  It was in the shape of a low-hanging arc, as if it were a rope that was pinned to the ceiling.  I was paying special attention to the left ends of the white rope, where other items were being attached, similar in colour.  I also remember that she was crying at a few points.  I could tell that it was day outside, but the curtains were pulled, so we were shadowed however still slightly lit by scattered light.  I did not feel upset or uncomfortable too much that I remember.  There was a warm, earthy hue to this scene.

Tyler, a family friend’s son in my waking life, suddenly entered.  I don’t remember why, but I welcomed him.  I sensed that it was a temporary arrangement, such as babysitting.  I think I offered him pizza, or at least, something like pizza was mentioned.  I don’t remember Julia’s reaction to him being there.

The next few scenes are very far removed from my memory.  I was in a house that reminded me of my mom’s current home, but also with many elements that are unfamiliar to me, including the environment outside the house.  My mother was there, her ex was there, and there was a grey kitten as well I think.  There was some conflict over a meal and the eventual eating of the food.  I think that it was her ex who cooked it, but I also recall seeing a tin foil container on the stovetop full of something that didn’t look too appetizing, required a large spoon for serving, and for some reason I can’t be sure if it was him or if it was my mother who was responsible for it.

Her ex wasn’t as extremely antagonistic as he usually is in this dream.  I don’t recall exactly wanting to be in his company.  In fact, I remember declining something from him… perhaps food.  I also recall my mother being agitated and irritable for having to be in his company.  He was following me around later in the dream.  These memories are very, very foggy.

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I’ve finally had a lucid dream, I think.

I’ve been tossing around all morning and been bothered by itchiness.  I showered, took my time, and got back into bed.  I was preparing to get up again after about an hour or so of discomfort, when I started to perceive that my consciousness was shifting.

I was intermittently seeing flashes behind my eyelids of reality that seemed vivid and changeable, like images projected onto the surface of an opaque liquid, like mercury.  It was scenes that are familiar to me, such as the surface of the desk behind an open textbook, the ceiling, etc – things I usually have in my line of sight on a day-to-day basis.  They would come and go very quickly.  I felt determined to return to them, so I passively willed for them to come back, or to see a limb of mine come into the line of sight by my own command.  Eventually, strangely, I did start to see the dream-limbs obey.

Then I was in my dream-home, and there was someone at the door, or someone nearby.  I was in the bathroom then, facing the medicine cabinet/mirror, and that person turned out to be an older gentleman who I felt to be familiar to me.  He seems to be over the age of 60, has white hair, a beard, and a kind face.  He is fit and healthy and has a pink tone to his skin.  He is quite a bit taller than I am.  He has the air of a doctor or a teacher.  He is facing the mirror with me and has something for me, or wants to show something to me.  He has it in his hand.  Does it have something to do with something wrong with me?  There is something also to do with a red brick, but I forget how it was a part of this sequence now.

Then our interaction becomes strange.  Each time he engages me, I feel as if my world is turning upside down and then rotating, and as it does, I lose track of the dream-home-environment.  It is as if he has taken me and is spinning me around an axis gently, that takes me through some kind of churned mix of different levels of reality.  I lose sense of my body and where I am, so I draw this conclusion.  My vision turns to darker, richer tones for just an instant, and perhaps I can also perceive a pattern of some kind.  I distantly recall there being a third person, but I can’t figure out who it is anymore.

A few more times of this and I no longer have contact with the kindly old man.  I feel close to him however, and like he was somewhere near to me as I traveled away from the dream-home.

I awakened a few times to a small, dirty room with white walls.  The only colours here are black, white, brown, etc: it reminds me of a doctor’s office, but I might guess that it was in an old building and that it was no longer in use.  There is a bed here I think, but the whole place seems gritty, and I have to quell a dull uneasiness that I feel, such as what you get while playing a horror-genre videogame.  This world tilts around on its axis quite a bit too, or to put it another way, I am not grounded in perceiving through the eyes of someone in a body.  There is something on the wall here.  I phase in and out of being able to stay.  I make demands to see certain things, desperate to see my subconscious world with conscious eyes; I demand to see Bastet, and for an instant, I think I see a familiar symbol for her on the doctor’s table, seated towards me, back to the corner, but I am not satisfied with this because I feel that it might just be a remembered impression of a drawing that I’ve done.  I feel like I am not alone however, but there is no one there that I can see yet.  I can’t even properly sense that there is any structure to this place outside the walls.  I feel like it is suspended in space.  I throw a few demands out, a little bit nervous, such as that I want to see a familiar face from my life, but my commands are impotent.

I phase out of this awareness, but soon I am back.  The door comes open, and I run outside.  It looks like an empty prison: the floors are grey, the ceilings are high, there is no furniture, and light coming through the windows is white but not warm.  There is another level that I can see because to my left, the narrow hall opens up into a common area, and I imagine that there might be a stairwell nearby that can take me up to that next level.  But I see a man who is pushing a wheeled wash-bucket around; some kind of Janitor; and near to him, a door.  It flies open.  As I pass him, his face turns into the face of someone from my past whom I do not like.  I run into the doorway, which opens into a stairwell going up.

I ascend the steps quickly, desperate to bump into something, anything at all.  I voice loudly to the dream, or myself, that I want to see my shadow, ‘Him’, ‘Him’, or whoever I’ve encountered before but couldn’t properly communicate with yet.  I suddenly see that I’ve come to the top of the stairs, and there is no through-way.  There is a dead-end wall, and the wall is unfinished, if not damaged.  In it, there is a brick-shaped hole.  I recall that there has been the image of a brick already, and I saw it when I was in the dream-home, with the white-haired, older man.

I look back and start getting strange impulses.  The character who has the face of the past-person whom I don’t like (the fellow who used to be the janitor) is there, and I start projecting those impulses onto the character.  I know I have a choice now, but without thinking, I engage him and am about to carry out the impulses, but they are feeling less like impulses the more I bear with them.  From one vantage point, to the right of the top of the staircase, facing back the way I came, against the wall, I see a strange image: a gnome-ish, silent figure, and it is a little disturbing.  Facing back up towards the dead-end-brick-shaped-hole, I am impressed upon by the image of shoes seen in the open space under a closed door, such as what you’d see if there were someone on the other side.  The shoes were cartoony, brown, and there was red also, but perhaps in the background.

I eventually came to my senses and didn’t go through with what would have made me feel quite bad, and I am quite relieved about that.  But it makes me sick that it happened at all.  This experience would have been so much better without that part.  It was my fault.

I was preparing to go away on a long trip with 2 other girls, whom were better friends with each other than they were with me, across a sea.  The night before we were to leave, we were preparing on the upstairs level of a residence, someone’s home, and there was wood on the walls and the ceiling and such.  These girls’ personalities were friendly and kind of geeky, but overall pleasant.  My mother was there and was aware of my going away on this trip.

We embarked on our journey, and I recall seeing wide open sky and a vast, blue-green sea.  We didn’t get very far before we were eddied by something along the way.  I remember interacting with my mother, also, at which point I became separated from my two travel-mates.  I was swimming, too: traveling without a boat, and I can’t recall that we had a boat in the first place.

There were a few islands that I remember as well.  As I was on one, I looked all across my surroundings in all directions.  I saw a particular, natural rock formation which was at least 50′ high and 60% submerged underwater, however I could see through the water, which was crystal-clear.  The rock formations were curved around in a semi-circle and were like abandoned slabs with arches cut out in the middle.

I also recall seeing either a boat or not, but there was something large in the water that was being affected by something that the dream called a “tide pool”: a “tide pool” was actually a black shadow, mostly circular, enclosed with a light-coloured border, that traversed the ocean as if some breed of disease or creature or natural disaster.  It swallowed whatever it encountered, like a black hole.  There was another kind of danger that was similar in threat-level, but I don’t recall it.  I was swimming away, having witnessed something else that met its end at the hands of ocean-black-hole.

For some reason, I felt it true that if I didn’t want to be swallowed by the black hole, I should say so, and demonstrate by my body language as much as I could while swimming so furiously.  Actually, I didn’t believe it 100%, but I wanted to believe it and somewhere, something inside of me thought that it “could” be true.  So I smacked the surface of the water and came within inches of one such black hole; its border was organic and moved continuously, coming close so that I could see it, and I thought it resembled something that both moved on the upper-most surface of the water but that its movement was of something that had to be under the surface, too.  It was solid black.  I did manage to escape.

As I swam around in the ocean, I sensed that there were many, expanding black holes in the ocean that I was now stuck in.  I did not perceive a way to save myself.  The world shrunk suddenly, and instead of being in the open air, I was in an enclosed room that had the air of a residential home, or a cluttered, make-shift ballroom.  At any rate, it was completely flooded, and I was now a woman whom I know in my waking reality to be a friend of my mothers.

There was a man there, whom reminds me now of an ex of my mothers, whom I find to be a nice enough person.  He was quite  young and attractive, and had some romantic history with me.  In fact, we started engaging each other sexually almost immediately.  He addressed me for a few minutes, and then I made to give him oral sex, and then I woke up.  I don’t often dream about sex, and especially not this much in plain sequence that makes it easy to translate into normal memories that can be described simply.

As advertised, nothing much to report yet.  It was suggested to me that the effects of the Calea would probably take 4 days to a week before bearing much significance.  I  slept enough, but I do not feel very rested today.  However, besides that, I’m feeling good, more or less.  I am not looking forward to tonight’s assuredly vile trial.

It kind of helps to pretend that I’m in some kind of man-made hut or shack, high on the slopes of cloudforests.  Say, I could be some kind of questing voyageur or whatever (someone brave, maybe also trekking the road to destiny).  Yeah, and the mystic, stolid shaman prepares the necessary brew, awful though it is – it’s all part of my journey.  What a persevering hero I am.

Anyway, I did note that, as I was falling asleep, I was experiencing increased ability to visualize, and the mental imagery itself was more vivid.  I’m not an expert on the lucid state, but I believe I was also intermittently falling in and out of a lucid dream.  I have been experiencing this more often in the past several months, actually, but these episodes are usually accompanied by an uncomfortable feeling of uncertainty/anxiety.  By contrast, this time, I was feeling much more at ease.  I briefly experimented by attempting to move my “dream body”.  It worked… to a point, I suppose, as I think I was able to at least view my own arm by deciding to lift it into my view.  Who knows.