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I’ve been tired and scattered the past couple weeks, and especially the past couple of days, to which I’m attributing my poor upkeep of this journal.  But I do try and fill in the spaces between updates here, with updates in my written journal, as I mentioned before…  In a perfect world, I’d be transferring those dreams to this journal, since it seems like I’d have an easier time when I eventually get this place organized.  I want a journal where I can search with keywords.  I wonder if I’ll realize that goal.

Anyway, the meager report for last night (meager, however I dreamt a shitload, and slept forever):

The first half of the night, I only recall that at the end of the dream, I was with a large group of young people, outside.  Most of these young people reminded me of people I went to school with at various points in my life, and we all seemed to be at either my current age, or a little younger.  The world was mostly dirt-earth, like a rockier, barren, desert area with not much vegetation.  It was dark, reddish brown and I do not remember the temperature, but we were dressed for either summer or spring.  It was daytime, but I don’t recall looking at the sky.

I was directed to see that there were very large bowling pins erected in the distance.  They were probably about the height of a tether-ball pole and seemed like they had been out there for a while; they were weathered-seeming, and dark brown in colour.  Someone told me we were going to use them to play a game.  I believe the person who told me was an older version of a childhood friend of mine, Cody, whom I’ve now seen in my dreams twice this week or so.  He was the closest person to me throughout this dream.

Most of the kids all spread out over a distance of about… I don’t know, 3×5 meters?  A little more? – amongst the bowling pins.  Cody and I climbed up one wall, and all the other kids faced us from down below.  We were standing on a narrow ledge.  There was a wall behind me made of rocky earth, but there was an opening and a couple of windows or something cut into it, through which I could turn around and see that the ledge was actually a plateau that continued into the distance behind me.  This area also seemed to be cast in shade.  There were a few other players there that I didn’t see before: a girl and a couple of guys, all who behaved as though they were my allies.  One of the girls reminded me of a sporty girl I baked sweets for in high school; she wasn’t very popular, her name was Katherine and she had freckles, red-brown, shoulder-length hair, pale skin and blue eyes.  She wore shorts and a t-shirt.

Anyway, Cody and I seemed to be a special kind of player, the same way that goalies are special players.  We also had to hold large, dead fish by their tails in order to carry out our roles.  I can’t remember why or what we did with them, but it involved swinging them.  I found this aspect of the game to be hilarious, and couldn’t stop laughing at it.  I playfully smacked one of the fish against the wall behind me and looked to my friends to see if I wasn’t the only one so amused by this huge, dead fish.  I do remember looking out over the kids and watching for if something was coming at us, so I wonder if we were supposed to use the fish for batting at things?  Cody seemed quite interested in the playing field.

Narrowing the images down for this dream:

Desert (Red, brown)
Bowling Pins (Dark brown)
Fish (Silver, Grey)
– Dead, big, gutted
-Batting, smacking
Team sports
(Dark-skinned boy, perhaps reminds me of Amrit)

2nd Dream Fragment: I don’t remember why, but I was lost in a China town of a country/city I didn’t know.  It was brightly lit all around, and the buildings were mostly white in colour.  I was in a taxi, driving very fast, and as we made our way, turning down many roads, I realized slowly that I wasn’t actually in the taxi, but I was on the taxi, holding onto it illegally.  Someone else was inside the taxi, and as the realization came over me, I detected that I was not supposed to be doing this, and it coincided also with my losing my grip on the vehicle.  I was suddenly off the taxi, left in the middle of nowhere, and I also realized that I left my wallet (in? how?) the taxi, which was long gone.  I thankfully remembered that I had a couple of important cards, including my Mastercard, in my back pocket: at least I was not without a means to buy things I might need.  But I was missing my ID and other important cards.  I thought: how insane that so many important things are kept in such a small package, like a wallet, making it so easy for you to lose such a great deal just by misplacing something especially easy to lose?  How was I going to get it back, and prevent it from happening again?

I started to wander through the city and eventually found my way to a very narrow alleyway, hemmed in by walls, old fabric (laundry lines?), boxes, and other, obscure, city garbage.  It seemed to be suffocating under all the clutter that was caving in on it, but it didn’t seem dangerous.  For some reason, I thought that I should be able to push through to the other side, so I entered the alley.  I had a couple boxes of old Chinese food with me, so when I entered the alley, many cats emerged and approached me.  They all looked like emaciated strays but not likely to attack, but there were so many that it felt invasive.  I left the cats the Chinese food and tried to continue going forward, climbing over boxes, feeling trapped.

On my left, I pushed my way through a few obstacles until I realized that I was right next door to someone’s beautiful, personal courtyard-slash-garden-place, which opened onto their concrete (ground-floor) patio, which opened into their home.  It was a tall, pale man with wavy, dark brown hair.  He was Caucasian and wore dark-rimmed glasses.  I got out of the alley and trespassed onto his property.

I looked to my left, where he had walked past me at first but not noticed me, and I could see that this little ‘backyard’ was actually slightly below the ground-level of a road outside: it was mostly all in shadow, but at the top of the wall several feet above his head, through a wooden lattice of some sort, bright light came through.  He turned around and then noticed me, and I explained myself.  After he heard my story, which I retold with great drama (I felt like it was all true, I felt very upended by all the difficulty I was having), he felt sad for me and also fond of me.  He made me feel welcome.  He also helped me get out of the alley, and took me to a corner outside his house, where it seemed like I might be able to find my way easier.

We said goodbye, and I was left to my own devices.  The streets were busy and the sky was blue, with clouds.  I think there might have been a sea or something like that too, so perhaps it was a port-city.  I can’t remember a large chunk here, but I eventually reappeared at school, in a classroom being taught by my Grade 8-science teacher.  She had short-blonde hair, glasses, pale skin and I didn’t think she was a very good teacher at all.  At the back of the class, at my desk, she looked at this little workbook I had taken with me to Chinatown and had to fill out based on what I did there, which I basically forgot about.  So as we flipped through it, she marked me accordingly, and I got a zero on at least one thing that had been utterly forgotten altogether.  I felt like it wasn’t fair but like there was nothing else to do but to accept the consequences.

There were line drawings of internal organs in the little book, and I also recall thinking to myself that I might lose marks for not colouring it all in, which I had done to previous works, and earned praise for.

Taxi (Mostly white, cyan stripes)
Cats (Grey, starving)
Leftover food
Tall, Long-haired, Bespectacled White Man (seen him a few times in dreams now)
Concrete, personal garden
Science Teacher
Unfinished Assignment

3rd Dream Fragment: I’m walking down a residential street lined with very beautiful, expensive townhomes and tiny, manicured lawns in the daytime.  It’s very quiet.  The street slopes gently, and I have already walked around this way before once in the dream.  For some reason, I’m doing it again, and walk all the way down until I see that I’ve come to “Royal Avenue”.  I turn right, and circle back up around and continue on the otherside of the block.  It occurs to me that I’m doing a circle, and I’m aware that this is necessary, for some reason that I can’t remember anymore.

I eventually come to the end of the street and turn right.  There is a house that I enter right on the end (the only house, or perhaps one of three, on the very end of the street), and I’m familiar with it; this is the home of a recently-former girlfriend of mine, whom I’ve only just broken up with.  I have had the sudden idea that because I became so familiar with her family, there is good reason for me to go inside and to give them a respectable, last impression, by saying hello and goodbye.  I know she will be there, but I would rather it not keep me from making my good impression on her family members, who I am actually fond of.

Inside, her grandparents (who look like my actual grandparents) and other family members are all gathered around in a living-room sort of setup.  There is furniture and other personal affects all around.  They seem to be a well-off family.  She is there too: she is shorter than me, with short, orange-brown hair and light skin.  She doesn’t say much.  I can’t remember a lot of this scene at all, but I do recall going to each of the family members and giving them a hug or saying something friendly to them.  It was clear that I was about to leave the house on a final note.  They all treated me well either way.

At one point, her mother or grandmother thought that her and I should hug, but we did not.  It’s occurring to me now that these family members of “hers” all resemble my actual, waking-life family members.

My mother’s ex was also there, and for some reason, overheard her and I talking about DMT or something else, but he had misheard I think?  He came in and immediately piped up about wanting to be shared with, but I informed him that he misheard, and that I was actually looking for chocolate soymilk.  I really was looking for chocolate milk, and I believe that I either helped myself or my mother helped me to find some.  Not sure how this little piece fits into the rest of it though.

Family Neighbourhood
Chocolate Milk
Mother’s Ex

4th Dream Fragment:
The only thing I remember from this dream is being inside a large, busy mall that was coloured mostly in greys and seemed kind of dim and underground-ish in general.  I was told by some lady whom I found to be loud, bothersome and superficial, about her previous-visit to the mall, and in particular, to a sort of vets office that we were nearby.  She was recounting how she had, with her friends, gone to this place and picked up this expensive, “As-Advertised” invention for animals (A “pod” of some kind).  It had a few compartments and could be gotten inside of by the animal, who could run around in circles in the main, large area or perched inside of on the top.  I’m sure there were other aspects to it, but I forget now.  I wasn’t too impressed, but I came around to the outside of the office to see it through the glass, where it was on display, anyway.

The wall that separated the office from the rest of the mall was completely glass, and I don’t know why I didn’t go inside, but instead I just sat in front of where the toy was on display for public-testing.  It was pushed up against the glass, so I was quite close to it either way.  I watched as an excited, white, dopey-looking puppy got inside the main compartment, which was stuffed with old blankets, and ran around like hell.  It really seemed to be enjoying itself, so I considered that the invention wasn’t all that bad.

But then I saw that my cat, Alicia, was being put inside it, and I hesitated because I doubted that she would enjoy it.  I thought that she might be offended by the odor of all the previous animals who had come before her to test the invention.  Also, she wasn’t a dopey, excited puppy who liked to run around in circles inside toys at any given moment’s notice.

I was right that she didn’t seem to want to be put inside the toy.  She laid down and put her head close to the glass, as if to communicate that she wanted to be removed and wanted to take comfort in my presence.  As she nodded her head down, I noticed that to my right, some lady disappeared in through a door that was off the main part of the mall, so it was perhaps a bathroom?  It might have been my mother, but I don’t think it was.

My mother did appear shortly thereafter anyway.  She asked me about preparations for Alicia with regards to a visit to see the vet, specifically about the “Brown Recluse Spider“, which involved several months’ advance preparation for some reason.  I hesitated, not really understanding what she was talking about, and also hesitating because I just don’t like getting that involved with professionals.

Blonde, Superficial Lady
Vets Office
Glass Wall
Pet Invention
White Puppy
Mall Bathroom
Brown Recluse Spider

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