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Monthly Archives: April 2010

I have no recollection of the plots to any of these dream fragments, and I can’t be sure that I had them in this order, but, however the images themselves are kind of interesting.

First Dream:
In one dream, I remember being part of a small group, and we were together on a train that was stopped, high in the sky.  I don’t remember who anyone was or what they looked like there, except that one of them was my friend or familiar, and that we were both familiar with Julia.  We were focused first on one side of the train, where we were able to overlook a kind of ‘evolving map’ – it was an analogue to the terrain or country that was just outside, or below, the train.  The ground was far below us, and the topography was only slightly hilly, and made of brown/reddish rock.  The sky was clear with only a few clouds.  It reminded me of a kind of desert.  On the map, at the end, was a structure drawn that resembled a kind of fort, or stronghold.  In the fort, there was a crudely-drawn, dragon-esque monster-king.  I understood him to be an amalgam of the other creatures that he presided over; he was feared and recognized by the others in the train, too.  He seemed mad as he moved, animated somehow, on the map, and was accompanied by other moving lines that were supposed to represent lightning or something.

Although I don’t remember who or what my familiar looked like, or why we were together, I suggested to him that we should go and fetch my cat, “Claus”, from the shelter – our situation had recently changed, so now his fetching was something that we were only now able to consider.  But then I realized that it was only available to us because Julia had died (Claus is actually dead in reality, so I can’t really say that we would have been able to cheer ourselves up with this idea after all…).  My friend and I became extremely sad as we considered this reality, which we had somehow forgotten.  The train started to go on its way, away from the map and the drawing of the dragon-king-monster, and the two of us grieved as it did.  I was quite sad and had to bear being sad in front of these other people, my companions.

Second Dream:

In this dream, I was traveling with Greg, although I don’t remember why.  It had the feeling of ‘being in tow’ for our own reasons, but somehow we had agreed to do it together; I of course, not driving and not having as many connections to the outside world as he, would have been relying on him for something I suppose.  He would have consented just because he has that habit, however he may not have actually wanted to help me.  Either way, we were traveling together.  We stopped at a restaurant to eat, and inside, we were seated at a booth.  Across from us directly, some old friends of mine sat down: Leigh and her sister, Kori, in addition to a mother figure, with whom another daughter sat; I describe them in two groups because the mother and the other daughter did not really seem to relate very directly to the aforementioned girls.  The mother was dark-haired and the girl shadowed her, as if she were a step-mother with a daughter from another marriage; Leigh and Kori, contrarily, are blonde twins.  The mother and daughter seemed less able to express themselves, and I thought that they seemed kind of snooty or were leary of ‘getting their feet wet’.  Leigh conversed with me without hesitation and with gusto, as she usually does.  The interaction between the two groups became a bit of a commotion, and as the food came out – all salads – it was clear that the restaurant kitchen itself was in a kind of commotion.  They were disorganized and messy, and the salads came out in copious amounts of iceberg in cardboard boxes at first, as if the salad were to arrive in its various components, instead of coming out assembled, as it might otherwise usually.

Eventually, when we were leaving, and there was some confusion about who was going to pay.  Greg ended up paying as he usually volunteers and then ends up being apologized to (although I think he likes this arrangement).  I tried to volunteer money I think.  But the restauran, and Leigh and Co, were suddenly no longer part of the dream by the end of this segment, and Greg and I left.

I appeared again with my mother, in her car, and was noticing how each her front and back end were damaged – they had been knocked out of alignment, and needed further knocking to correct them.  I think I was able to fix the front of her car with a knock to one side of it.  We were driving out of her complex in the meantime, but stopped before we could complete the task, as Greg intercepted us.  I recall feeling uneasy that she had to interact with him, and that I had to in her presence.

Eventually, we turned out and drove down the road.  I believe this is where Greg and I parted ways completely.

Third Dream:

I start to remember this dream in the middle of a strange land, as if I were in the middle of a movie or musical.  It was reminiscent of Chinese fighting-musicals or plays.  I sensed that I was in an alternate universe, but that my country was what would otherwise be known as China if it had been on earth.  I was in a large family that seemed like royalty.  There was an arena, and in it, I could see various princes and other attendants.  There were colourful costumes on everyone and colourful fabrics on the tall, curved walls.  I thought that I saw blue sky through an opening to the outside at one point, and snow as well.  But each of the brothers, or what I thought were brothers, regarded me actively, and I sensed that I was the newcomer.  Each of them had nicknames attached to their actual names; one such example: Odysseus-(name).  I did not have a nickname yet.

They were all around me and I was a little confused by all the movement, also weary of it, but not afraid.  I was aware of being a handsome and able young man, and although I don’t remember what I was wearing, I think I was wearing some similar costume as they.  But each of them had something unique on – no uniforms.

I then remember being aware of time having suddenly passed, although I was still in the same arena.  I think that the evening had come, and I was being surprised by this event, which I realized had been planned for me.  It was a surprise fight – I got my wits about me, quickly realizing that one of the princes was about to engage me in combat.  We fought together with swords; I had a long, thin sword or a broad sword, while he wielded one similar.  At first, I could see a small figure in yellow crouching behind him, shadowing his every move, and holding a heavy, flat sword that could have spanned the princes whole height.  Eventually, this long sword (think: Cloud Strife) was passed to him for him to start using against me.  I realized that this shadow-in-yellow may have been some kind of attendant, waiting for the right time to pass the prince his larger sword.  So we would eventually fight each other while he used this much heavier, much more enormous sword.  As much as it seems now that I should have been offended, I think I can recall my own sword becoming larger, like his, but I can’t be certain of that.

There were spectators as well as singers arranged in a choir.  They were all clad in similar clothes, as if to designate the theme of my fight, or the theme that had been assigned to me by whoever was pulling the strings.  It reminded me very much of Christmas: red or some colour outfits (capes too, on all the choir singers), trimmed with white fur.

I fought him very well, and although I’m not sure if I won, I do remember seeing him on the ground at the end, and so offering him my forearm to help him up.  He would not allow me to help him up, and I could feel that he took this as an offensive gesture – he looked at me incredulously, as if I couldn’t be serious that I expected him to take such an effeminate action.

Fourth Dream:

I only remember a small part of this dream, and it took place in a mixture of my mother’s kitchen and my home bedroom.

In the kitchen, I recall being with others, but in particular, my astronomy teacher was there and was one of the central characters around which the action developed.  She was despondent and talked about her recently-made decision to leave science, for her finding out that it was no longer about what she used to believe.  She and I were depressed together actually, and I related to her about this somehow.

She was repairing or attending to some device with the parts of another, de-assembled device nearby.  The one that was being used for parts had its front panel taken off, and I could see all of its mechanical workings and circuitry inside.  She was unscrewing lightbulbs from inside the broken one, and was carelessly doing so; I was worried about her, because I could see bolts of electricity, a lot of them, crackling and moving around inside.  The electricity illuminated clouds of multicoloured smoke inside the device too, which plumed and grew as the device crackled and was tampered with.  She did not seem phased by the apparent danger however.

She was searching for three parts: small pieces of red plastic, out of which 3 narrow, wire prongs extended.  She found one, and I was on the search for the other two.  I found something from my bedroom, but she named my finding a “moulding”, and told me that it was not what she was looking for.  She was certain that my neighbour would have one, so I went next door and asked.  The neighbor’s wife answered and was sure that her husband did not have what I was looking for, but I did not think she was correct.

First Dream:

The dream took place in an outside environment, at night, and mostly in or around a large parking lot that was dimly lit by orange-glowing street lamps.  There were manned police cars located at various distances all over the lot.  I was running through it, and as I would approach each of the stationed cars, I would become afraid and would run faster and with more awareness so as not to be stopped or noticed by them.  I had the feeling afterward, that I had been making the effort for a silly reason.  The police cars, I perceived, might have been connected to me or to something I owned?  I use the word ‘owned’, but I am not describing a particular possession.  This may be just an after-thought though, and not actually part of the dream’s original feeling.

Second Dream:

It took place in a very large house, of which the entrance to, or otherwise, I cannot recall:  I only remember being inside of it.  At the point that I start to remember, I sensed that I had just been through some kind of gathering or event that I was attending with my mother and my two half-brothers.  The inside was dimly lit and coloured of greys, purples, maybe some browns, and other various little colours.  The inside was richly decorated – like a modern sort of fashion, however mature and stolid like the older style of interior decoration by people who you might imagine as having a kind of traditional, wealthy family.

There was a large, rectangular table or large, tall wall before me as I looked forward in this mostly-empty hall; I felt like I was waiting around for my company to finish up, and that the others who had attended had mostly all left by that point.  The hall that I was in stretched before and behind me, so I faced down one of the directions, however it was quite wide from side to side too, which was how the table or wall was ‘long’.  I was watching it and somehow, Josh or Julian could be seen and were interacting with the wall as if playing on it.  I was waiting for my mother to finish up her exchange with a man whom I then saw: he was mid-thirties, had orange hair and had facial hair.  He seemed friendly and like he enjoyed talking to my mother very much.

He attempted to be familiar with me as we started to leave.  I recall him saying my name out loud to me.  At first, we were not able to connect very much, but he did eventually catch my attention with the way that he spoke familiarly of things I knew about.  He talked about popular figures such as John Lennon and also about playing music.  He drew a little diagram of a guitar neck, and drew to explain how it was easy to become a better guitarist.  He also drew a zig-zag pattern across the drawing’s representation of the guitar’s strings, as if he were drawing the way in which the neck-hand were to press down onto them.  I found it very interesting and have tried to replicate the image in a dream-notebook I have.

Third Dream:

I start to remember this dream as I am running very fast, alone, at night, in an outside environment, down a dirt road.  The environment was distinctly rural, however the lane I was on was obviously manmade, so there were also residences nearby.  There were fields on either side of me, the sky high above with stars and clouds, and trees and mountains in the distance.  I don’t remember why I was alone, but I perceived having been without others not too much earlier before, and also perceived an expectation that I would soon be with others again if I continued on my way.  The shoes that I was running with were either not my own or – no, they perhaps weren’t my own, because I had a lot of trouble ‘using them’, but I had used them once before.  They functioned like like a motor-car, in that they ‘ran you/you ran them’ and could be stopped by use of their ‘braking’ system.  There was also a plastic bag full of little chocolates similar to Bridge Mix candies that I carried, and this bag had a connection to the shoes.  I feel like it may have been their fuel or affected the way that they accelerated in a similar way to if they were fuel.  I was eating the chocolates but was not wanting to, however I kept on.  I felt bad or guilty for doing it, but kept on.  In fact, I kept on and accepted it in lieu of then making the plan to throw them up as soon as I came to a house where I would be able to.

I was afraid for myself because I was traveling so fast and did not have any control.  I had used the shoes before, so I knew that the braking system would work, but for some reason I could not use it to any affect at that moment.  Eventually, I angled myself so as to run on them ‘sideways’, and was able to use the brake while also causing much damage to the shoes.  I ended up breaking the shoes and they were no longer useful.

Then I remember walking up a hill that was lined sparsely with trees, on a gravel road, beyond the fields.  On the right side, there was a large home, and further up, there were more homes (2 more?).  I was closer now to the forested area at the foot of the mountains.  I was familiar with this place, and so I approached it.

There were lights on and sound coming out of the home.  I had the feeling that I had been here before, and so I was confident that these people would welcome me.  It was full of people, so I assume that there was some kind of party going on.  I was also remembering that I still had plans on throwing up the candy.

As I approached the door and asked for the man whom I knew and expected would welcome me, I eyed the people and noticed that a couple dogs came out of the house.  Soon, the man I asked for also emerged, and with him, more dogs.  There were about 5 dogs or more, but at least 5, and one was named Rex (I think he was a pale-coloured dog, and they were all bigger dogs).  The dogs were behaving in an offensive way and frightened me.  I had to turn around continuously and could not take my eyes off of them, because they were each poised to attack or to confront with aggression.

I was surprised that the man did not show me any warmth.  He was almost snubbing me actually, and the other people in the house did not seem to care about my plight, either.

This next section of dream shares the atmosphere and I detect the same kind of world, but I do not know how I got from the dogs to this new point; I remember being inside of a house suddenly, in a lower portion, to the side or just away from the dogs and the front yard of the large house from before.  Julia was with me, as was some professor or coordinator – maybe even someone else of more power – of her graduate psychology school, Adler.  He had white hair and seemed kind.  He was explaining the school’s philosophy and the purpose that the Adler student could consider – that they were to go out and to change the world by being an amazing example to others.  This is hard for me to explain because I don’t remember his exact words, but the Adler student was to be an individual, self-propelled person of originality and modest distinction, rather than a functional cog within the systematic method of ‘usual’ professional psychology.  I’m reminded of “Doctors Without Borders” – because then I think that these are people who front for psychology, but do not work to fulfill the requests of the organized ‘psychology machine’, the people with predictable day-jobs in the city, so to speak.  Rather, they lead their own projects and into their own original concepts and ideas for new projects.  Julia was there at a table with me, among a few others, just listening and reflecting on what he said.

Fourth Dream:

I was outside of a large, white house; actually, it was a structure that I assume was a house, because I could see in my peripherals a door and a flat plane such as what would probably be the front of a house.  There was also a paved lane leading from the door, straight out.  On either side of the lane was greenery, but I can’t remember if it was simply grass or if it was grass and bushes.  It was a vibrant green like grass however.  On one side, the distance stretched out into the sky; on the other side, there was not distance in the same way, but I do not remember what was there, and I assume it was interrupted by some kind of trees or otherwise.

I was there with a petite girl whom had her hair tied back and in a long braid.  Her hair was dark and her skin was fair.  I did not sense that we had been prior friends or that I expected very much to continue being her familiar after our time there together.  We were both friendly to one another anyway.  She in particular seemed very friendly, but as we had not been friends, conversation did not get going to any depth.  She seemed to want to explain things that were going on in her life.  She also carried with her, some kind of object that sat in her arms?  I want to say that it was alive like a plant is alive, but I don’t remember.  I remember the colours red and white, or I think I remember.

I also recall holding something small – it was like a dried out, spherical poppy of red and white.  I do remember that it seemed to be organic, but fragile like an inflated paper lantern.  It was only about 2.5″ across, so I carried it easily in the palm of my hand.  After we had gone several meters from the doorway, I started to have the urge to dance around a little bit; I danced around her and was easy-going, listening to her talk, and watching her watch me, but really pretty comfortable and trusting that her opinion of me would be just fine (and perhaps I didn’t entertain what her opinion would be of me in the first place).  She mentioned something about cancer and it had something to do with the object she carried, or to someone she knew.

I then regarded my object and wondered out loud about if I would get cancer/if my object would get cancer, and that I hoped I wouldn’t, but my spirits were still buoyed despite the subject of which I spoke.  She then turned away to face the open distance to our one side, and talked.  I don’t know what she said, but she was talking quietly.  I think now that she may have been doing some kind of blessing for my sake, that I would not get cancer/my item would not get cancer.

I am also remembering a line of shrubs or trees at the other end of the lane, spaced evenly, along a a lane that lead to the left and right, parallel to the front of the house.  I don’t know if I’m just replacing part of the actual dream, but perhaps it is so…