I only remember parts of dreams this morning.
One part of the evening included being under the impression that I was awake however I’m pretty sure I was mistaken. I’m only sort of sure that this next part I’ll describe was part of that portion: I perceived little shards of rock, maybe metallic rock, in my mouth. I would get them out with my tongue and arrange them together until suddenly I had a small handful. It was as though I had a medium-sized sphereish shaped orb in my mouth that had been completely and utterly shattered into tiny fragments and were coming up out of my body and through my mouth. This I can’t connect to any of the dream parts, as I said…
Another part of the dream included my mother. She and I were conversing together at the top floor of this house on a beautiful property. Outside the weather was fair and the season seemed like early summer or late spring in the south of or something. The property had a large, green lawn and manicured edges that were arranged with lines dotted with trees. Some of them were flowering. Inside the house, there was a lot of nice furniture such as what you’d expect in the house of an old family home on some kind of plantation or dandy home in the states. I don’t know that we lived there and never found out.
She and I were discussing something but I can’t recall exactly what. I could see down to the floor underneath by looking down the edge of the wall on the far side of the room, opposite the door leading into it. My mother was using some disinfectant spray used for kitchen and general household surfaces; I told her that I had learned that using that caused damage to the insides of our bodies if we inhaled it, and although I hesitated because I didn’t want to be forceful with my advising, I didn’t hold back because I truly believed that what I learned was true. I did because I had been told by my dermatologist in the dream (not so in reality) and also because breathing that shit in really irritates me. So she followed my advice. Next, for some reason she offered me some cheese; my mother worries that I don’t eat enough, so this is pretty of course. I declined although I like the taste, because I like to avoid dairy for the sake of my health. She wasn’t bothered. We left the house then apparently.
We followed a road outside; the weather was still fair and the sky was getting darker, although there was some light: the hues were pink and yellow as they gradually became darker. We were walking near a road with many flowering trees – sort of like magnolias but lighter-coloured, coloured more like cherry blossom trees, and more green lawn. Inside of a building I remember myself next, but I don’t remember why we went in there. There were many people inside, as though it were the bottom floor of an inn or something. I answered the door and my mother’s friend appeared, and I believe Julia was there with us too. We greeted each other and Julia made an unintentionally terse remark or so I took it that way, but I tend to do that – I worried about how my mother’s friend would have taken it, but it seemed to be fine, even though her feelings are easily hurt. We were joined outside by another of my mother’s friends and by her daughter.
I don’t remember where this dream goes next, so onto the other fragments:
This next fragment took place in another world and of a much grander adventure scale. Although it reminded me of the area of my mother’s residence, around the forested area and long road leading into Guildford, leading up to that point we were wandering deeper into a part of the world totally conjured. For some reason I was part of a small group of people; my own group maybe two or three people, and the rest of them not so connected to me or my group (if I’m remembering that right); and we were trudging on deeper and deeper into forest and dangerous land. As we did, the weather changed and the landscape grew less familiar. It turned into a place that was clearly populated at one point but no longer. As I remember it, it reminds me of what abandoned circus grounds would appear to be. There was overgrowth and old structures that seemed to have been brought in many years ago, or built there and left. We entered into the region and it started to snow, and I became more aware of the sky overhead, where I believe I saw the moon. I started to get the creeps and thought that it would be a much better idea to turn around. If I had pressed further, I know I would have encountered an entrance to something embedded, perhaps an almost subterranean portion of the region that would go either underground or under more forest encasement. The snow started to remind me of ashes too.
We exited and the dream’s locale seemed to stretch out further than the entrance was initially, but the winding path still lead to me onwards and outside to where I felt I had definitely come away from the region safely returned to where I had intended. I looked at the sky and saw the moon again in a dark sky. I also perceived the sun and the earth.
At this point I started to perceive stories and speech from the perspectives of entities or characters that I could not actually see. Here the dream is broken up into portions that fit less and less well together. About the sun, I perceived from a man, a humourous tone and friendly disposition, relating the fact that the earth and the sun were part of a network between the two which included some kind of ‘chariots’, and also that however it might be confused as to who pulled who, the earth did not pull the sun? That doesn’t sound exactly right, but those were the elements. I also remember the number of chariots being four, which could be connected to the fact that I’ve recently learned that in a very old system of pagan beliefs, Hecate, the Moon goddess, rides in a chariot pulled by four dragons. There was some detail concerning two of the chariots, but I don’t exactly remember what it is.
Then, I recall a portion of the dream which took place on the skytrain. This part of the dream occurred closer to the timeframe of my spitting up the rock fragments. I was with Julia and we were traveling quite fast, and it was night outside. I recall wondering if a particular group of entities were afraid when they traveled in-between the stars of the constellations. Suddenly then, Julia started to draw the words of one the entities in this group, a girl; Julia used her own voice, apparently willingly or not (I didn’t ask but she didn’t appear to be alarmed or ill at ease at all), to speak this separate entity’s words. She said a piece and I don’t recall a lot of it, but the immediate answer to the question I had wondered aloud was “yes”. She didn’t speak extremely one way or another, but was not unkind, however was not totally well disposed towards addressing me either. Actually, she didn’t address me directly but indirectly. I had the sense that she addressed me in third-person with a name starting with O and had the sounds of “r” and “n” in it, so I likened it to “Orion”, but that’s just me filling in blanks. She said that “he” should continue his search or quest or something to that effect. Also she had to leave at the end of her piece she said that she was about to start crying, but I could not perceive that in Julia’s voice or by any other way, other than those specific words. So the dream shifted at that point, and went outside.
This portion followed the events of a girl with brown hair and dressed in a hockey uniform, I think? It was red and white and she could fly. I had the sense that she had a ghostly quality, the same as the voice coming through Julia if they were the same, and perhaps the same as the Sun character from earlier, who spoke with a sense of lighthearted humour. There was a mother involved I believe, who was earthly and could not perceive this ghostly girl. The dream followed her from an aside perspective; that is to say that I was not myself, and was just this perspective. She flew over a kind of modern suburban city landscape that included a seaside and many telephone poles. The atmosphere with rich, dark blue as it was late in the evening.
Now the dream became something totally separate and evolved quickly into something even further apart from where it started. It started in the midst of an urban, downtown-ish style setting with three characters. One was a woman, another a man, and there was another man at some point. I was looking through my own perspective at time and at another time, from the perspective of the girl. At another point, the POVs all changed to that of myself, Julia, and this other man. We were all friends or perhaps more, or perhaps could be. There was a nightclub and many people, and as I as the girl made my way over to the midst of the dancers and young people starting to come out for the night, I bumped into the third man in our group, whom I had a good relationship with. We danced with each other and I started to muse over the possibility of an advancement from platonic feelings for him; idly wondering about this, I also went easily to and fro from that to the fact that I valued our friendship enough not to need to go anywhere else with it. His disposition, although he didn’t speak, told me that he might be feeling the same.
After we danced, we sat down in some booth which was still outdoors, and actually further into the road, away from the entrance to the club and away from the crowds (not completely away). We chatted a bit and I also was joined by, or joined by the thought of, Julia. For some reason I was contemplating a 3-way relationship again, and although Julia remarked that she wouldn’t be able to do that, I mused to myself that I might be able to. This was a thought of mine that was a little reckless in retrospect, but I suppose that may be a character trait of mine. I have developed a habit of not thinking things through to the end as of recent, trying perhaps to develop a muscle to spontaneity, which I haven’t really ever had before. I should analyze this a little more I suppose, but anyway. I don’t recall wanting to or pressing the matter, as it was just a thought between us. The dream moved on fast now.
I rode in a vehicle, and I can’t recall who I was, but there was a pair of us – a boy and a girl, and we may have been related to each other. The boy was older and was a little stereotypically easy to anger and eager to exert. The vehicle was more like a ship I noticed: armoured, bulky, dark and full of metal and wire. As we advanced, the road sloped and I watched the city move behind us, however we were only going deeper into the heart of this urban landscape. I coudl see water on one side, as well as many ships and other shapes that suggested similar structures and architecture. We got to the end of our driving and we were separated. The girl was taken away and put into another ship, while the boy, whom my perspective followed now, was taken into captivity.
Some character sized us up and favoured the girl, so saved her from a terrible fate. There were soldiers and a strange man who was in charge, and he called the decision to save the girl for his own purposes, perhaps just to admire her? Anyway, the soldier would have had her, but in her stead, the man in charge suggested that he take the boy instead for experiments. Something violent and strange was done to him as he was held down by these armoured figures, or figure, and then transported into a chamber. This chamber melted away from the outside world of the dream, so I can’t remember exactly how they connected, but he was put somewhere deeper and further from the girl. His situation looked hopeless and I imagined that he would either die or be mutilated. In fact, I think he was immediately mutilated by a device in the arm of the soldier, which I suppose was part of the “experimenting” that the man in charge (moustached, old?) advocated. I think he specifically said that he did love to experiment.
In this other chamber, he was put through a course which included replacing parts of his body with metallic, artificial limbs. This included tearing him up I woudl imagine, and although I did not witness graphic carnage, I did visually perceive shapes which suggested that his body was indeed being taken apart in the process. I don’t remember well but I remember feeling that he would have been in great pain, however did not succumb, so stayed awake. This area was enclosed; it was comprised of metal paneling of whites, grey, light blue, dark blue, and other colours to suggest a science-fiction sort of advanced future setting. There was no exit that I could see, and I did not see that he was attempting to escape anyway. I don’t remember seeing or knowing anything else about the girl at this point.
Now the dream starts to fluidly shift between this world and some others, as if there were some imposed, holographic, or suggested reality as part of the function of the chamber into which he was deposited. I saw blue skies, greenery like houseplants, and even people in their homes. I also saw a few feline characters, one of which was bad, and one of which was just weird.
Actually, I’m remembering something better now. He was put into an arena with many strange characters who expected to fight with him, but I don’t know that they weren’t of origins similar to his. I wonder now if they had been put there, and may have shared his plight in having had their bodies tampered with before being put into there. He did not succumb to any of their attacks, but I don’t remember what those attacks were. I do remember him having to be wary and having to rely on his reflexes for defense. At this point, his perspective was mine. The worst enemy I faced was that of the huge cat, who demonstrated to me as he prowled around, that although I had shown myself capable of some small strength, I may not be up to facing the likes of his. He pointed out another feline for comparison as he played with me, seemingly aware of the edge that he had: the edge he explained, was that he was clearly more akin to a tiger than a cat, and he explained the behaviors that separated tigers from cats, and even acted them out as he did so. For example, he explained the difference between the way cats lie down (“kitties”) versus how tigers lie down, that this difference was important to note, because it could tell you something about what the tiger liked to dine on. When tigers lay, they do not lie gently, being weighted by their bellies, which were full of a meal much heavier than if they were just a housecat.
So he toyed with me for a while. His face was like a linxes, but was not like any real cat on earth that I know of. He did seem cat-like and not tiger-like, but enough of him was tiger-like that I was afraid for what he might decide to do with me. I did not feel up to his calibre but I did not feel like running away. Luckily, the dream shifted again and I was suddenly aware of being in the presence, or being the audience to, a scene inside of someone’s home.
This home seemed to be high in the air and was in the future as well. I could see the windows and the sky was blue, but there was no horizon nor were there any tops of buildings. There was a small family: a boy, maybe a girl, a father and maybe a mother too. They were laughing and talking about their cat, which was facing away from them, to the wall, with its ass facing them instead. They were actually sticking their fingers in its butthole, taking turns, and thought it was the funniest, greatest thing. I was alarmed and felt like I should be able to do something to help this cat, but I was unable, because I suppose I was only virtually there. I struggled with this strange sequence of events, wanting very much to abate the confusion I was having, because it was on the rise; the cat I saw soon, was indeed enjoying it. I still don’t understand and am mildly amused but slightly disturbed.
OCCIPUT EYE 