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Monthly Archives: March 2010

I don’t remember a specific plot to this dream, but I do remember many of the images and the themes, or rather, the general feelings.  The characters themselves and their background images were memorable, but the events occur in flashes like that: not connected well.

The main character of this dream, or rather image of a character, was that of “Persephone” – or, by a few of her other names that appeared in this dream: “Ishtar“, “Bastet“, and perhaps “Horus” but I think that Horus was a name that occurred to coincide with popular knowledge that the “Eye of Horus“, also known as the “Deer Eye”, are names of the EVIL EYE, which was a central part of this dream in the beginning.  In fact, it was the eye itself rather than the character, however this feminine image was inseparable from it.

The “Evil Eye”, as well as the fact that this “Persephone” or “Ishtar” (Ishtar was a name that occurred quite frequently; this is interesting to me because I have quite a history with the consideration of Persephone/Bastet as both of those names, however not at all as “Ishtar”.  There was quite a focus on her “Egyptian” name as it occurred in this dream – between that of Ishtar and Bastet – but I assume that Persephone also occurred frequently just by virtue of that name being foremost in my mind.  I am fond of Greek mythology as well as familiarized quite a bit with the myth(s) of Persephone).  It was said that the Eye’s purpose and function in human life was to banish evil, et al incorporated kinds of things, from the lives of people.  It required looking into the amulet of the Eye itself I believe, which may just be drawing on events from my recent waking life: I have been having some trouble, a psychospiritual crisis at the moment, and have been influenced or perceived influence to gaze at an amulet of an Evil Eye in my home.  This has lead to strange occurrences, including what I expect to be extra pumps of DMT while awake.  My memories have never associated Persephone with the Evil Eye however, so this is a new and perhaps arbitrary connection between two things that are readily accessible in my mind.

There was also the aspect of flames.  It was also part of this whole situation that if you were to “stare at her in flames”, she would appear.  Appear as in the sense that “phenomenon” means to appear – only appear before your eyes, and other than that if anything beyond, I don’t remember, but I do remember gazing into a small wall, or ‘clutch’ or ‘pillar’ of flames, and at the darker wisps of colour (dark brown, grey).  In these wisps, you might see what could be the result of your mind playing tricks on you, enough to create a recognizable image.  I also recall seeing in my memory, a drawing of Persephone which I had done the night that I drank a DMT potion: she was open and smiling and had a mysterious crown on her head, and draped from the crown was some kind of veil or shroud that fell behind and around her.  She seemed benevolent, but the images of her are always kind of ambiguous and not really one way or the other, if you don’t count the obviousness of a small smile.

As I looked into the flames, it seemed to grow and become larger than my head; it was really more akin to a pillar at those points.  I also recall a former friend of mine’s influence or presence (if just in consideration, perhaps).  I couldn’t tell whether or not his presence or his role in the dream was good, but I was considering him for some reason.  I also recall viewing in my mind or memory the concept of the Sun God, or instead, something just like him.  There was an orb and chariots being pulled, but I don’t remember if specifically by horses.  It was only for a moment.

Now if this is in the wrong order, oh well, but I also recall Judy in this dream.  Judy is the wife of my father whom I do not speak to, but have had a rocky history with, however I have respected and still respect her.  She is a stern but educated lady who is extremely self-sufficient and self-propelled.  She’s very productive and has an array of home and farm skills, including knowledge of plants through a master’s degree.  So I could say that I look up to her, or did in the past.  She was considering Persephone’s influence, and the realm from which she came, as being intrinsically bad and so she was aligned against it.  She said that they were focused on the wrong things, as could be witnessed by the fact that the use of centralized/concentrated stimulation (the example here was a vibrating dildo) was acceptable and even encouraged.  She said that they were missing the picture and therefore any alignment with them was dangerous.  She held the view that one must step back and regard the whole rather than get right to the point.  I distinctly remember a very “Athenian” presence to Judy at this point, as though her essence had been replaced, but her vessel remained mostly the same.  As I discussed the figure of Ishtar/Persephone, I was starting to reconsider whether or not I should be focusing so much on this figure who may be leading me down a dangerous path.

The images of Persephone in my sketchbook and in the flames were of a shrouded princess whom kept many secrets and was impossible to read by any literal words.  In the flames, the images changed so much and so fluidly; they were, for the most part, only like the image of flames and only flames.  You could be satisfied to think that you may have imagined what you thought you were seeing.  The association with the Eye was limited the beginning of the dream; the association with the flame pillar seemed to replace that of the Eye.  The name of Ishtar was repeated quite a bit, while Bastet was a name mentioned only once or twice.

While writing the notes for this dream with a pen and paper, I felt a flickering energy behind my eyelids, as though they were being repeatedly stimulated there at those nerve endings.  I also perceived sensation in my abdomen; my guts wanted to distend a little.  This occurred more strongly as I wrote, and lessened when I stopped to consider more of my memory.

The dream started out in a world similar to the one I live in now, in a similar area to the one that I reside in this world, too.  This area is situated just outside the urban, high-density metro area of downtown Vancouver, so it’s a little dirty around some of the edges, but populated by quite a few people regardless.  It isn’t a suburb, but an ‘outer’ sort of city.

In it, I interacted with a few men and a boy whom was quite stocky and 6′-7′ tall.  I was in his house and do not remember why, but I passed him on my way out, after I had interacted with the men.  For some reason, there was a small disagreement going on.

I was witnessing as this one man in particular with orange hair, who was put off by the way he was being treated by the others; they weren’t, in his view, acknowledging him properly.  They were unsure of how to do this, and so were getting a little frustrated themselves.  There was a misunderstanding.  Moreover, a communication problem was at hand.  The man who perceived that he was being mistreated seemed to have trouble communicating in a ‘usual’ way as part of his character, so perhaps the others would have been trying to appease him, but to little avail for the gap that was between them.

Then the large teenager appeared after I went into the kitchen.  He was a really huge guy, came down from upstairs, visited the fridge and mumbled a greeting to me.  We recognized each other, but he seemed to be shy, and hurried around, obviously not wanting very much interaction.  I went outside to where there was an undercover carport and a view of buildings from the city over the tops of a dark, coniferous forest in the distance, over a stretch of a concrete-paved townhouse lot that this house was in.  This reminds me very much of how my mother’s house is (she’s in a townhouse complex too).

After this, I remember being on the road and traveling it, up and down.  I was enrolled in some kind of collection of music courses; I had been studying Joanna Newsom’s music in one of them, I recall.  I also recall there being another person whom I interacted with, but without meaning to and without wanting to.  I believe I know who it is, but I don’t remember the details.

Soon afterwards, I remember being on the top of a large building, deeper into the city.  I had others around me, and recall there being a very cloudy sky; the clouds were huge and billowed out around some birds, mostly seagulls.  We were anticipating some kind of worldly culmination – I don’t know how to describe this properly, but it was as though a kind of ‘end’ were underway, and although none of us knew when exactly it was to occur, we were aware that it was almost time.  We were under the impression that it was fine that we had abandoned a lot of our day-to-day obligations, because we were relaxed in our anticipation that they were going to come to an end anyway, so better just to mingle and wait.  We seemed to think that this ‘end’ would not really be such a catastrophe so much as it would be a liberation.  We were anticipating it happily.

There was a man nearby myself on top of this building, and I exchanged a few words with him about this subject.  But then I spied something strange in the sky.  A weather change occurred, and the birds reacted to it.  It was as though one or a few of them had been struck by lightning.  I also remember seeing a small patch of refracted colour – there was not a crack or bolt of lightning like there would normally be, but just a spark and just enough movement to have caught my eye.  One of the birds assumed a strange posture in the sky: his wings, or ‘shoulders’ drew back and the feathers in his wings spread out and angled downwards.  It was at this point that the good ‘end’ that we expected was not going to be good at all.

The hierarchy of species on the planet had changed.  The birds had been given a new mentality and immediately understood what it was and how it could work.  With this new change, they had been granted the capacity for destruction, and started to exercise these new powers on the people that were on the rooftops and all throughout the city.  They were able to shoot us down and to wreak havoc by extending bolts of energy down from their wings.  They also had the ability or means to inflict damage by other explosive means, which, as we experienced, was like being bombed.  It was like being in a post-apocalyptic, occupied city suddenly, and our numbers dwindled fast.  We disintegrated from order, suddenly little more than small groups of runaways who could not keep track of each other at any given moment.

I also recall there being an aspect of danger to the air that we breathed.  There was, at times, a type of substance or energy in the air that was fortunately visible: the area of it’s volume and the direction of its movement could be tracked visually, and thus was avoidable.  It was a light, transparent, electric blue colour and wherever it floated, you would hold your breath, because it was quite harmful to human lungs.  I don’t know if it had anything to do with the birds destructive powers, but I wonder if it did, because it seemed to hang around wherever we had been attacked.

Right after the initial change, I remember being down one floor from the roof of a building, but not so immediately in sequence after that first event.  At this time, I was part of a small group of humans who seemed to have had a bit of experience with running away from the birds and had been sticking together for a while, so I would assume that this was after a period of time from the first attack.  the buildings themselves were in disrepair, the windows had been blown out and the rain had damaged a lot of the walls and internal structures of the building as well. The buildings also reflected that perhaps they also had been under siege for a while.  The city was also quiet outside, besides the rain, so I wonder too that many humans had already been killed.  As I remembered this, we were under immediate attack:

Down one floor of the building as mentioned, I remember seeing mostly reds, some peach-beige colour, and other mottled, gritty mixes of colour to reflect a weathered and ruined texture around the edges of the walls.  The doors were dark and ruddy.  We were huddling in the corners of a room, anticipating a bomb-style attack ,which came.  There was a dark-skinned (brown) woman in our group, a small and very overweight, brown-haired boy with red cheeks and kind temperament (he seemed like he was about 9), as well as a few others, but I don’t remember them.  We braved the attack and avoided the fire, but the blue energy floated around in its wake, which was harder to avoid.  I don’t think I was caught by anything harmful at that point.  It was chaotic and disorganized, as we weren’t really trained and rather just instinctively dodging to misstep death, while lending a hand to help each other where we could mentally manage the multitasking.

I ran into another room beside this one and saw a long panel of windows, where outside, there was the roof of an opposite building that looked like it crossed by a  small jump.  I thought that we could jump over there to keep on the move; we were in the business of moving around, so my immediate thoughts were to figuring out how we could move ourselves away from danger, away from our current building.  I was joined by the brown-skinned girl after I went to see her in the other room again, and we had to carry the overweight boy back together because he was either too tired or had been damaged somehow.  It required two of us to lift him, although she had been wanting to try and do it herself.  I realized that it was not reasonable to throw him across the the space between the buildings, so I abandoned the idea, not wanting to leave him behind, for clearly he was in no state to do the jump himself.

Then I was ‘given’ or ‘had’ a vision.  I wondered, ‘Did God send me this vision?’, in the dream.  I should have wondered, ‘Did God give the birds this magic power to kill us, and so he would clearly have wanted us all dead here?’, haha.  But I did not question the vision, which is more important.  In the vision, I was shown that the birds were experiencing discord amidst their own ranks, being birds who behaved as in the wild, as per their basic natures.  Without people around to avoid like they normally would, they would fill any corner and run in all parts of the city, so this seemed of course to me as I thought about it.  With their new abilities, but without many years to have come into a natural order with it, doubtless they had killed many of their own in the process of killing off the humans as well.  Being birds, they didn’t seem to have an objective that I could plainly see, if it wasn’t simply to ‘kill all humans’.  That said, I would now think that as we had just been avoiding them, I really couldn’t confirm this.  Some closer observation would have been safer… but I guess that is exactly what we were going to get, moving onto our next plan of action:

The vision came with an added comment, that given this new information, and although the odds were not in our favour yet, those odds were growing were still slowly growing.  It was a possibility that they could continue to grow, and may eventually be enough in our favour if the birds continued in the way that they were.  So I thought: the only thing to do now is to get out of the business of building-hopping, and to get down on the ground, to step foot on the path of seeing to our salvation.  We did just that.  Outside, it was raining harder and the light was less.  It was as though night were falling, but not quite fallen, and so the sun was still in the sky, however much dimmed by the heavy clouds.

I also came to face the problem of the other humans.  They posed another threat and were scattered throughout the city like scavenger dogs, I feared.  There would be those jaded, emotionally unstable people who wielded dangerous objects, who might lash out for the sake of their own survival.  I saw a region of cars driving aimlessly in circles and in other which ways, lights on but not to aid the vision, horns blaring but not to warn of danger, and voices yelling as well.  The voices I heard went right through the murky din (which was not that loud?), disturbing me.  They were hoarse and betrayed an unpredictable, mentally tilted group of people.

The first dream I had, I do not very clearly remember.  I woke up in the middle of the night from it, didn’t record immediately, and so fell asleep to have another dream instead.

There were a number of children from my past however: Matt, a Polish boy whom I used to be afraid of slightly because he had a volatile temperament, as well as a few others, but I’ve completely forgotten who they are now.  It was in a strange, subterranean setting with a lot of dark, mixed colours of grey and green.  I remember winding lanes and embedded structures which were, however apparently manmade, still organically organized.  I felt a little crowded.

Right afterwards then, I was in league with an Asian girl; she and I were friends for some reason, but I don’t know why.  She was fond of some popular idea, or apparently popular idea, which was to commit suicide.  The catch was that you would be able to return, or so she said.  I hadn’t done this or seen this for myself, but apparently she had.  She and I were situated in an expansive room with ceilings that rose indefinitely.  The walls were red and swirled with lighter colours.  We were sitting on the ground, close to each other, if not leaning slightly against one another.  She was dressed up and spoke softly.  She was encouraging me to kill myself.  I accepted, and as I was dying, she applyed mascara to my eyelashes.  The mascara was white, as in the two-step mascaras that first have an elongating, white-coloured application before the darker application is put on.

Anyway, so I had started the process of dying and was intermittently closing my eyes and feeling out the darkness.  I had the sense that she was going to be applying makeup or other such things to me after I died, and I was a little weary of that.  I was also not feeling immediately ready to die, but was still open to the possibility, seeing as I was trusting her that I would come back.  I thought to myself, “Wow, I’m really going to die?”  As I put myself out there in my thought space, I felt the sensation drop and settle in an eerily resolute way, which I perceived as coming closer to the actual death.

I approached this place, this proximity to death, and was aware of the fact that I wasn’t actually 100% on board with the idea.  I believe this was preventing me from crossing over.  I don’t know that I did die, but I did wake up before I was to find out.

2nd Dream:

The second dream took place in another adventure world on an especially grand scale.  Most of the first portion of the dream I forget, I so I assume, because my memories  start with me out in the middle of a great conflict.  It took place inside a city half-paved and built up with stone; half of the city seemed to be taken up by a large castle or fort-style section, coloured like sand or beigeish.  I was a slender man of average height and had approached the lower portion, undercover area that met the water, so this was also a port city at this point.  The water lapped at the edges with the motion of all the boats that were floating at it’s edge, and in the boats were armed men.  I had the distinct impression that however they were leaving city and were participating in the conflict against me THEN, they hadn’t been before.  I was unsure as to why one of their leaders, a black man, would be pointing me out as a target.  He fired many shots at me, some of which were almost like cannons.  I hid behind a pillar and was surprised that I wasn’t getting hit at all.

Eventually the fighting escalated so much that everyone had to flee; my perspective flew up behind the black man as he ran up a staircase to the next level of the city.  There was a young boy running alongside him, to his right, and I remember him saying that it wasn’t necessary to save or look out for another person if it means that you might live to see another minute of your life.  The boy didn’t respond to this with anything but acknowledgment, and I could sense that his sentiments were similar to my own – that I wasn’t really sure the black man’s philosophy rang true with my own, personal philosophy.

At the top of the stairs, the man vanished.  The boy went left and I went right.  I assume that I was still this same character, but I am no longer sure as I felt differently.  Around the corner, I saw about 3 others: slender males whom I recognized as being part of the fight on my own side of things, so I could safely approach them.  They were in a state of some sort of relaxed disorientation.  I use the term disorientation in the sense that they seemed detached from their original engagement, or involvement in the fighting.  They seemed to be disconnected from the greater purpose and more to their own individual directions.  So we fell together easily and didn’t expect or ask questions about the fighting.

The little boy on the other side, I saw, and I approached him.  He had previously been under the counsel of the side of men whom were opposed to me, and so he, not fully understanding but understanding enough to see that he had previously been instructed to avoid me, was cautious.  He told me that he was not supposed to associate with me at all, but didn’t seem to understand why.  There was a music box that he had: an opaque, dark (dark grey and red or brown) box which emitted tones when the lid was opened.  There were also cookies that I remember (like the fruit/nut/oatmeal cookies I have recently bought), but I don’t remember why.  He did eventually come over to us and we played with his music box by opening it to create tunes that we created a song with.  I believe we sang a little bit.

After that, I left this area and came to where the path was closed off by forest.  There were two animals there: a unicorn and a horse.  They were fighting violently.  The unicorn was especially vicious, and overtook the horse with great fervor.  After that, another animal appeared and began to fight as well.  The space that was closed off vanished soon afterwards and the animals with it, becoming a narrow lane filled with sun and caged animals.  They didn’t seem to be caged against their will, but rather in cages for living or traveling (the wire was thin).  But I don’t know that for sure – I gauge this by their behavior and by the general feeling of the place.  As I advanced down the lane, the cages drew in around me and the lane became too narrow to walk through.  I had to climb the cages to keep going, but as I climbed over the cage of the unicorn (who just appeared inside of it), I found that I could not, for he was halting my advance by causing some kind of soft sensations that I could physically feel.  They didn’t hurt, but they were too much for me to withstand and keep coordinated, so I withdrew.  I saw the other animal there as well, and noted that at this point, they were both clad in black and white – not clothes perhaps, but colourings that reminded me of black formal suits, and only on their torsos.  I complimented them both that they made good doormen, like bouncers.  They were pleased with themselves and I left.  Interesting now to note that I recall the other animal having some issues with being able to feel as haughty or proud as the unicorn, but at the compliment, seemed to enjoy himself a little more.

I went to the right after I exited, exiting also the castle portion of the city.  The ground sloped down for about 300 meters or so, had an intersection that went right, left, and ahead, but all directions besides the left-hand direction (the direction back towards where I had come up the stairs from the fighting) were closed off by fence (the left-hand path had buildings in the distance).  Behind the fence were many homes and also green grass and green trees.  There was snow and ice on the ground all around me.  There were many children here, and I could also sense that my form had changed.  In this group of children were ages of about 5 or 6 – 11 years old, and I was at the older end of about 11.  I remember running to play with them, however I didn’t have any friends or expectations other than to be able to run around and engage.  I stomped my feet on the ground to see my footprints in the snow and ice, and I remember that due to an especially forceful stomp, I cracked the ice and a large crevice formed.  From the crevice, water from underneath leaked out.  I heard the children say that “(my name) definitely broke it,” and I was not above admitting to it openly.  I didn’t feel too bad about it but I would have rathered that I hadn’t.

I recall mentioning to someone that I had been feeling upset (“freaked out”), but I forget why or to whom.  Anyway, my mother caught wind of it and she appeared on the scene, down the right-hand path, at the fence, in her old black Rav-4, with both of my younger half-brothers with her.  They had all come to see me and to see that I was okay, and so we linked up.  We went down the straight path then, to where a few, tall coniferous trees were in the snow.  The snow was melting around this area and I could see the grass underneath.  I could also see the homes through the fence better.  We were supposed to cut down one of the trees to build homes or something for the others there, but I was opposed to this idea because I did not want to hurt the tree.  I hesitated but was ready to go along with it anyway, not wanting to hold everyone up while something couldn’t be avoided.  As this happened, my form started to change again.

I was clad in a costume like a ghost or a skeleton then suddenly.  The landscape started to change too: the natural aspects would disappear, replaced by paved lanes and shops with lamps on poles, such as what you’d imagine to be in a pedestrian/shopping area of an old town, like Venice I suppose, sans water canals.  In fact, there was a lot of fire and light around that I felt, although I do not think it was daytime anymore.  There was fighting again, and the streets were full of people whom I had to be cautious of, lest I meet harm at their hands.  They were also costumed I believe.

However I could comprehend somehow that I was not supposed to approach any of these dangerous people, I did end up mixing up with one of them.  But something strange happened after I did:  I started to perceive some sort of merger or “sudden emergence” of another entity, coming up out of myself or out of someone else.  He was clad in a similar outfit to mine, so I felt like we were on the same team.  I was moving from side to side as this happened (being rocked), so I suppose thats an indication that he rose up out of my own space.  He was taller than me and had advice for me on who to avoid.  I did not hear his voice, and I have the sense that he was communicating with me through symbols which appeared on his mask (he was hooded I believe).  All of this had the distinctly familiar air of Halloween – which was compounded when I viewed pumpkins or Jack-o-Lanterns on a store-sign nearby.

The Pumpkin sign also had fire on it and drawings on a black background, advertising itself as one of a group of stores that were rare and situated amidst dangerous zones.  The word “Venetian” was on it, but I forget the word that came after that, so I don’t know what exactly was “Venetian”.  This categorizing and description of stores reminds me very much of how it happens in videogames.

I only remember parts of dreams this morning.

One part of the evening included being under the impression that I was awake however I’m pretty sure I was mistaken.  I’m only sort of sure that this next part I’ll describe was part of that portion: I perceived little shards of rock, maybe metallic rock, in my mouth.  I would get them out with my tongue and arrange them together until suddenly I had a small handful.  It was as though I had a medium-sized sphereish shaped orb in my mouth that had been completely and utterly shattered into tiny fragments and were coming up out of my body and through my mouth.  This I can’t connect to any of the dream parts, as I said…

Another part of the dream included my mother.  She and I were conversing together at the top floor of this house on a beautiful property.  Outside the weather was fair and the season seemed like early summer or late spring in the south of or something.  The property had a large, green lawn and manicured edges that were arranged with lines dotted with trees.  Some of them were flowering.  Inside the house, there was a lot of nice furniture such as what you’d expect in the house of an old family home on some kind of plantation or dandy home in the states.  I don’t know that we lived there and never found out.

She and I were discussing something but I can’t recall exactly what.  I could see down to the floor underneath by looking down the edge of the wall on the far side of the room, opposite the door leading into it.  My mother was using some disinfectant spray used for kitchen and general household surfaces; I told her that I had learned that using that caused damage to the insides of our bodies if we inhaled it, and although I hesitated because I didn’t want to be forceful with my advising, I didn’t hold back because I truly believed that what I learned was true.  I did because I had been told by my dermatologist in the dream (not so in reality) and also because breathing that shit in really irritates me.  So she followed my advice.  Next, for some reason she offered me some cheese; my mother worries that I don’t eat enough, so this is pretty of course.  I declined although I like the taste, because I like to avoid dairy for the sake of my health.  She wasn’t bothered.  We left the house then apparently.

We followed a road outside; the weather was still fair and the sky was getting darker, although there was some light: the hues were pink and yellow as they gradually became darker.  We were walking near a road with many flowering trees – sort of like magnolias but lighter-coloured, coloured more like cherry blossom trees, and more green lawn.  Inside of a building I remember myself next, but I don’t remember why we went in there.  There were many people inside, as though it were the bottom floor of an inn or something.  I answered the door and my mother’s friend appeared, and I believe Julia was there with us too.  We greeted each other and Julia made an unintentionally terse remark or so I took it that way, but I tend to do that – I worried about how my mother’s friend would have taken it, but it seemed to be fine, even though her feelings are easily hurt.  We were joined outside by another of my mother’s friends and by her daughter.

I don’t remember where this dream goes next, so onto the other fragments:

This next fragment took place in another world and of a much grander adventure scale.  Although it reminded me of the area of my mother’s residence, around the forested area and long road leading into Guildford, leading up to that point we were wandering deeper into a part of the world totally conjured.  For some reason I was part of a small group of people; my own group maybe two or three people, and the rest of them not so connected to me or my group (if I’m remembering that right); and we were trudging on deeper and deeper into forest and dangerous land.  As we did, the weather changed and the landscape grew less familiar.  It turned into a place that was clearly populated at one point but no longer.  As I remember it, it reminds me of what abandoned circus grounds would appear to be.  There was overgrowth and old structures that seemed to have been brought in many years ago, or built there and left.  We entered into the region and it started to snow, and I became more aware of the sky overhead, where I believe I saw the moon.  I started to get the creeps and thought that it would be a much better idea to turn around.  If I had pressed further, I know I would have encountered an entrance to something embedded, perhaps an almost subterranean portion of the region that would go either underground or under more forest encasement.  The snow started to remind me of ashes too.

We exited and the dream’s locale seemed to stretch out further than the entrance was initially, but the winding path still lead to me onwards and outside to where I felt I had definitely come away from the region safely returned to where I had intended.  I looked at the sky and saw the moon again in a dark sky.  I also perceived the sun and the earth.

At this point I started to perceive stories and speech from the perspectives of entities or characters that I could not actually see.  Here the dream is broken up into portions that fit less and less well together.  About the sun, I perceived from a man, a humourous tone and friendly disposition, relating the fact that the earth and the sun were part of a network between the two which included some kind of ‘chariots’, and also that however it might be confused as to who pulled who, the earth did not pull the sun?  That doesn’t sound exactly right, but those were the elements.  I also remember the number of chariots being four, which could be connected to the fact that I’ve recently learned that in a very old system of pagan beliefs, Hecate, the Moon goddess, rides in a chariot pulled by four dragons.  There was some detail concerning two of the chariots, but I don’t exactly remember what it is.

Then, I recall a portion of the dream which took place on the skytrain.  This part of the dream occurred closer to the timeframe of my spitting up the rock fragments.  I was with Julia and we were traveling quite fast, and it was night outside.  I recall wondering if a particular group of entities were afraid when they traveled in-between the stars of the constellations.  Suddenly then, Julia started to draw the words of one the entities in this group, a girl; Julia used her own voice, apparently willingly or not (I didn’t ask but she didn’t appear to be alarmed or ill at ease at all), to speak this separate entity’s words.  She said a piece and I don’t recall a lot of it, but the immediate answer to the question I had wondered aloud was “yes”.  She didn’t speak extremely one way or another, but was not unkind, however was not totally well disposed towards addressing me either.  Actually, she didn’t address me directly but indirectly.  I had the sense that she addressed me in third-person with a name starting with O and had the sounds of “r” and “n” in it, so I likened it to “Orion”, but that’s just me filling in blanks.  She said that “he” should continue his search or quest or something to that effect.  Also she had to leave at the end of her piece she said that she was about to start crying, but I could not perceive that in Julia’s voice or by any other way, other than those specific words.  So the dream shifted at that point, and went outside.

This portion followed the events of a girl with brown hair and dressed in a hockey uniform, I think?  It was red and white and she could fly.  I had the sense that she had a ghostly quality, the same as the voice coming through Julia if they were the same, and perhaps the same as the Sun character from earlier, who spoke with a sense of lighthearted humour.  There was a mother involved I believe, who was earthly and could not perceive this ghostly girl.  The dream followed her from an aside perspective; that is to say that I was not myself, and was just this perspective.  She flew over a kind of modern suburban city landscape that included a seaside and many telephone poles.  The atmosphere with rich, dark blue as it was late in the evening.

Now the dream became something totally separate and evolved quickly into something even further apart from where it started.  It started in the midst of an urban, downtown-ish style setting with three characters.  One was a woman, another a man, and there was another man at some point.  I was looking through my own perspective at time and at another time, from the perspective of the girl.  At another point, the POVs all changed to that of myself, Julia, and this other man.  We were all friends or perhaps more, or perhaps could be.  There was a nightclub and many people, and as I as the girl made my way over to the midst of the dancers and young people starting to come out for the night, I bumped into the third man in our group, whom I had a good relationship with.  We danced with each other and I started to muse over the possibility of an advancement from platonic feelings for him; idly wondering about this, I also went easily to and fro from that to the fact that I valued our friendship enough not to need to go anywhere else with it.  His disposition, although he didn’t speak, told me that he might be feeling the same.

After we danced, we sat down in some booth which was still outdoors, and actually further into the road, away from the entrance to the club and away from the crowds (not completely away).  We chatted a bit and I also was joined by, or joined by the thought of, Julia.  For some reason I was contemplating a 3-way relationship again, and although Julia remarked that she wouldn’t be able to do that, I mused to myself that I might be able to.  This was a thought of mine that was a little reckless in retrospect, but I suppose that may be a character trait of mine.  I have developed a habit of not thinking things through to the end as of recent, trying perhaps to develop a muscle to spontaneity, which I haven’t really ever had before.  I should analyze this a little more I suppose, but anyway.  I don’t recall wanting to or pressing the matter, as it was just a thought between us.  The dream moved on fast now.

I rode in a vehicle, and I can’t recall who I was, but there was a pair of us – a boy and a girl, and we may have been related to each other.  The boy was older and was a little stereotypically easy to anger and eager to exert.  The vehicle was more like a ship I noticed: armoured, bulky, dark and full of metal and wire.  As we advanced, the road sloped and I watched the city move behind us, however we were only going deeper into the heart of this urban landscape.  I coudl see water on one side, as well as many ships and other shapes that suggested similar structures and architecture.  We got to the end of our driving and we were separated.  The girl was taken away and put into another ship, while the boy, whom my perspective followed now, was taken into captivity.

Some character sized us up and favoured the girl, so saved her from a terrible fate.  There were soldiers and a strange man who was in charge, and he called the decision to save the girl for his own purposes, perhaps just to admire her?  Anyway, the soldier would have had her, but in her stead, the man in charge suggested that he take the boy instead for experiments.  Something violent and strange was done to him as he was held down by these armoured figures, or figure, and then transported into a chamber.  This chamber melted away from the outside world of the dream, so I can’t remember exactly how they connected, but he was put somewhere deeper and further from the girl.  His situation looked hopeless and I imagined that he would either die or be mutilated.  In fact, I think he was immediately mutilated by a device in the arm of the soldier, which I suppose was part of the “experimenting” that the man in charge (moustached, old?) advocated.  I think he specifically said that he did love to experiment.

In this other chamber, he was put through a course which included replacing parts of his body with metallic, artificial limbs.  This included tearing him up I woudl imagine, and although I did not witness graphic carnage, I did visually perceive shapes which suggested that his body was indeed being taken apart in the process.  I don’t remember well but I remember feeling that he would have been in great pain, however did not succumb, so stayed awake.  This area was enclosed; it was comprised of metal paneling of whites, grey, light blue, dark blue, and other colours to suggest a science-fiction sort of advanced future setting.  There was no exit that I could see, and I did not see that he was attempting to escape anyway.  I don’t remember seeing or knowing anything else about the girl at this point.

Now the dream starts to fluidly shift between this world and some others, as if there were some imposed, holographic, or suggested reality as part of the function of the chamber into which he was deposited.  I saw blue skies, greenery like houseplants, and even people in their homes.  I also saw a few feline characters, one of which was bad, and one of which was just weird.

Actually, I’m remembering something better now.  He was put into an arena with many strange characters who expected to fight with him, but I don’t know that they weren’t of origins similar to his.  I wonder now if they had been put there, and may have shared his plight in having had their bodies tampered with before being put into there.  He did not succumb to any of their attacks, but I don’t remember what those attacks were.  I do remember him having to be wary and having to rely on his reflexes for defense.  At this point, his perspective was mine.  The worst enemy I faced was that of the huge cat, who demonstrated to me as he prowled around, that although I had shown myself capable of some small strength, I may not be up to facing the likes of his.  He pointed out another feline for comparison as he played with me, seemingly aware of the edge that he had: the edge he explained, was that he was clearly more akin to a tiger than a cat, and he explained the behaviors that separated tigers from cats, and even acted them out as he did so.  For example, he explained the difference between the way cats lie down (“kitties”) versus how tigers lie down, that this difference was important to note, because it could tell you something about what the tiger liked to dine on.  When tigers lay, they do not lie gently, being weighted by their bellies, which were full of a meal much heavier than if they were just a housecat.

So he toyed with me for a while.  His face was like a linxes, but was not like any real cat on earth that I know of.  He did seem cat-like and not tiger-like, but enough of him was tiger-like that I was afraid for what he might decide to do with me.  I did not feel up to his calibre but I did not feel like running away.  Luckily, the dream shifted again and I was suddenly aware of being in the presence, or being the audience to, a scene inside of someone’s home.

This home seemed to be high in the air and was in the future as well.  I could see the windows and the sky was blue, but there was no horizon nor were there any tops of buildings.  There was a small family: a boy, maybe a girl, a father and maybe a mother too.  They were laughing and talking about their cat, which was facing away from them, to the wall, with its ass facing them instead.  They were actually sticking their fingers in its butthole, taking turns, and thought it was the funniest, greatest thing.  I was alarmed and felt like I should be able to do something to help this cat, but I was unable, because I suppose I was only virtually there.  I struggled with this strange sequence of events, wanting very much to abate the confusion I was having, because it was on the rise; the cat I saw soon, was indeed enjoying it.  I still don’t understand and am mildly amused but slightly disturbed.

The start of the dream I do not very well remember.  These were a group of different dreams all scattered across the night and I don’t know how they were broken up but I’ll do my best.

I remember being in the middle of a great city that appeared to be from the future.  The buildings were grouped close together and rose very high over everything else.  the roads were narrow and there were lanes that arched over the roads as well I feel.  I navigated on foot, walking on the roads, and was expected or on my way to someone else’s party.  The host of the party was a family, a very rich family and I recall only the daughter and the mother.  I was listening to music, but now I recall a part of the dream that could have occurred before this part, in fact I’m not sure at all but my memories are disjointed so I’ll pause to describe this portion too:

I was located in some other place away from the city.  It was more like the place that I recall from growing up with my father, which was a more rural sort of area just outside of the city I usually lived.  I don’t recall parts of the city itself but rather, the inside of the house that I was in, which was similar to that of my father’s old home; the similarities lie in the hallway and the kitchen/diningroom layout.  There was a man there who was connected to the creation of art; visual and/or music; and in the artwork there were many figures, each coloured uniquely and identifiable by their colours.  I had the distinct feeling that these colours and also, their costumes, spoke for them and their abilities or their role in the group that they were in.  One was black and had little stars in their lap or around their torso area; they appeared to be unhappy, or at least had a different kind of bodily disposition, one less open.  One I don’t recall the colours because I had the feeling that they were representative of something I would call “light” in my own words.  The others around them were numerous so they didn’t seem to be important or in charge at all, although light/dark are usually superior polarities in groups of elementally divided things.  They reminded me of mermaids or fairies.

I felt like he should have known who I was, or that I wanted to speak to him or to talk to him about my artwork, or his artwork.  This part of the dream is very hard to remember, and I don’t even really recall that the world obeyed regular physics; the floor seemed to be unstable although it conformed to every step I took, and I did not have to worry about falling either.  It was my visual perception that was affected and so then my memories now.  It was all very fluid.  I also had the sense that he was sketchy or regarded that way.  He had glasses I think, and short hair that was a light brown or had blonde in it.  We were unable to connect although I continued to want to, or to try to.  I stayed out of his way I believe because I was not sure of something, myself or what was happening just in general.

Then I remember the music – I had my headphones going and the lyrics were particularly strange, sung by a woman who didn’t seem to be writing them.  She seemed to be improvising.  At this point I was in the city that I described at the head of the dream.  I took my headphones off at one point to listen for the words, if they would come to my mind, but I don’t know why anymore I did this.  They did not come and then the music was no longer part of the dream that I remember it in any way.  So I was wandering through the city, searching for the party if I remember right, but I don’t really remember that detail so solidly.  I appeared at the party; it was at a mansion along the outskirts of the city because it was nearby some more natural things as I would later see.

The party was full of people that I didn’t know.  It was not decorated only populated; I don’t really even remember any music or dancing, just crowds and also low lights – fluorescent, dimly glowing, green and perhaps blue.  I also remember the daughter – she was clad in makeup and dark clothes and was not well-liked.  She reminded me of the Red Queen from Alice in Wonderland actually; her mother did as well to some degree.  Anyway I remember seeing her in a row, against a balcony of sorts with people along either side of her.  Her face was kept in a steady expression although I could see that she was bewildered slightly, or disturbed by something going on amidst the people or maybe amidst her thoughts; I wonder if she had been told something or had witnessed something.

I also recall confronting her mother about a videotape of her cheating on someone, her husband I guess: the tape was explicitly sexual, on VHS, and I don’t remember how I got it or why I cared.  she was very upset with me and our confrontation escalated to the point wherein we were physically hurting each other, or at least, struggling against each other.  We parted not long after that, and neither of us were hurt, however she was very ruffled.  she left the house through a side door that left to the daylight.  She was going with a man I believe.  at this point I wandered back around the house through the inside, to the balcony area and to where the rest of the people were.  I was in a hurry because I perceived potential danger to myself if I stayed.

My grandparents were there.  I insisted that they hurry up with their arranging to go, which I think they were already going to do, albeit slower than what I wanted, so I insisted on helping.  I packed up their things and arranged them on top of their vehicle, which was a boat; I didn’t leave outside but suddenly, I was on the road outside the house, and I could see that it dropped off a short cliff to an inlet of water.  This appeared to be connected to the sea or ocean, or some similar large body of water.  I couldn’t really communicate the danger I perceived to them because I didn’t want to upset them, so I only helped.  Julia was there and was pleased by the boat and by the fact that I was doing something with it; she aided a little bit, but mostly wanted inclusion for the fun.  We eventually got going and then the dream turned away from the mansion party, the danger and the city.  We were now being shown a fishing demonstration.

My grandfather was demonstration his boat’s machine and it’s mechanical way of catching some very large fish; the machine itself was extremely dangerous, and consisted of long rolling cylinders that drew up the fish and rolled through the water, attached to the back of the boat.  I could see the bodies of the fish hung stationary within as it advanced over the water.  My grandfather seemed very pleased but I couldn’t help but ponder the fact that both he and my grandmother were very old.  He said that I should go on a “Goddamned ride” sometime, or in some similar words, in a friendly way.  He was insinuation that I relax a little and spend some time with him and I agreed.  Anyway, the dream started to turn away from my grandparents at this time, as I wandered onto the deck to watch the scenery around us as we sailed away.

Now, I could detect the sun that was at my left and higher in the sky.  The sun was bright and the shadows were short and stark.  The water was turquoise.  Across the inlet, there was a small island populated by dark green trees and carpeted thickly by similarly-coloured moss and other shrubs.  There was a group of dark brown bison; one was a mother I perceived, and one was her young (they may have just been a family unit).  The younger one looked at me and turned around, spun, a few times simply for its own and my own amusement.  I imitated it as for some reason I felt that I was expected to.  It was a motion just for fun, that is what I felt.  I communicated with the bison somehow: it told me something about doing my homework to mitigate the other things that may be going on in my life, to keep things in balance (“equatorial or whatever that world should be” or something to that effect, haha).  So we continued to sail and my grandparents faded away; the deck itself extended and there were tables and other characters appeared too.

I was at a table with Julia, and I could suddenly see that my costume had changed.  It was now very effeminate and coloured in white and some kind of turquoise too?  I don’t actually remember the costume’s colours very well, but I remember lookign down at myself and seeing that I wasn’t dressed like most people could safely dress themselves outside in the real, waking world.  Julia was across from me and I had another friend with me as well – she was very small and from another country: we couldn’t communicate but there was a bond that was more gestural between us.  I assumed she was Julia’s friend as well.

Some boys approached us, and a girl eventually sat very close next to me.  They were jeering and goading me silently before they started to do so with words as well, of course on account of my clothes and the fact that I would appear as though romantically involved with Julia.  Once the girl sat next to me, I assume at the prompt of one of the boys, she pressed back softly against my body as if to tease me with her assets, so to speak.  I didn’t respond and was unsure of what to do really, but I affirmed my relationship to Julia, assuring them that I wasn’t going to be able to feel anything since I was already with Julia.

Then I was a few paces beyond there, joined by my smaller friend.  She was about to wield some artistic skill of hers, and in it I saw that she had two bodies when she did so: one body lay motionless nearby with its mouth open wide (I stood nearby to guard it as there was another boy prowling around who was still in the mood to tease and be carelessly rough; I felt like she could have gotten hurt with him around), and one danced and sang while a decorated parchment unfurled as a prop to her performance.  She was describing the pictures on the scroll as if telling it’s story.

There were three figures that she described, but I don’t remember any but the first.  There was a small king with long, curly brown hair (actually it wasn’t coloured on the scroll but I felt inclined to say that).  The king held something before him – a long pole-shaped staff, but it’s details may have been much more than that, only I remember just the general shape.  The scroll stretched on before her so I’m not remembering much at all.

Another part of the dream occurred but I do not know where it fits.  At this point, events take place inside another kind of city which seems to me to be more within the era that I’m currently living.  I was with my mother and with Julia I think, but I can’t be too sure.  I do think that’s true though.  We were inside a store in the middle of the city; there were books and many shelves, a many patrons.  I left the store at one point and returned later to see that something bad had happened.  A group of people had done something to put everyone else in danger, and had since left.  I could see that everyone felt unsafe and my mother was reflecting those sentiments as well.  The employees were organizing everyone and trying to mitigate the fear, as though someone had attacked them or had staged a robbery.  I remember thinkign to myself that I was familiar with whomever it was that did whatever they did, because I had seen them before (there was a rough description).  I didn’t feel so ill-inclined towards them just yet though because I couldn’t understand their motive nor could I really comprehend that someone of their disposition would be able to do anything so bad.  I felt like they had simply scared everyone.  My mother uttered something to someone who worked there that she had been afraid, especially about …something to do with Korea.  I don’t remember that well enough anymore.

Anyway we left that place and the dream took me elsewhere, with Julia.  This part had something to do with an application or information I had filled out with her, for her schooling, so we were at a psychological therapy building.  In its waiting room, I pondered the contents and the information that I’d put on my application.  I had supplied sensitive information about myself, including things such as a few of the more difficult issues I am currently challenged by.  I expected to wait for a long time, but I was called up first.  He uttered my middle name when he called me I think?

I went into his office and was surprised that Julia strayed in the waiting room behind me.  I sat on a chair that seemed to be for someone going in to see him, and put my stuff on the floor and my headphones on for storage (safer to store them that way); however, he came in and dragged out a cushion for the floor and told me that I should do the same.  He answered my query about if he preferred it that way usually and he said yes.  Immediately I found him to be very friendly and easy to be comfortable with.  He had an accent that I can’t place but if I tried, I would have to say Chile or something.  He was pale and had black hair.

He went right away into the issue of hearing voices and about the potential for psychosis that I might have.  He also agreed that I could show him some of my relevant drawings that I kept in my book that I take around with me.  Sadly then I woke up, before we could have a session of any substance.

Last night I had a series of several dreams, interrupted each by waking up and having some minor trouble falling back asleep.  They were each very vivid and inundated with challenges, often quite dangerous, but perhaps not exactly violent, the exception being in the last dream.

I don’t know that I can write them all down, but I’ll try and roughly outline some of them.

In one dream, I was actually part of a duo.  The duo consisted of me as some younger, effeminate boy version of myself whom took that polar opposite to my friend, whom was a taller man with black hair.  He had facial hair and we traveled in between worlds I have the feeling; the worlds themselves were akin to space or to some other open expanse which could be traveled and one could find different worlds or lands between.  It was a dark and had the feeling of being in the future somehow, and there weren’t that many people.  There were structures similar to that of a cityscape or of even a playground in some parts of it.  The structures themselves could be climbed onto or over, so that is why I’d describe them that way.  I don’t remember how we interacted with the people, but there were a few interactions.  We were inside of a ship at one point as well.

Strangely, at one point I believe that we were dogs, or that I was a dog.  The dog that I was or we were (?) was kind of similar to Scooby-Doo.  I believe this dream blended into another one over some time and we became one dog – a dog with black hair and the shape of the kind of dog that Scoob is.  The black hair was around my jaw and over my chin, but without a moustache.  I’d say the facial hair pattern was similar to that of Campbell’s from Shining Force III, only perhaps a little thicker.

There was also some difficulty in bearing sexual stimulation at some point… not from him I don’t think and not from anyone that I can remember, but it was mostly a  simple discomfort or disease with bearing it, but I really do not remember how exactly.  This world grew also and became something a little more barren and hard of weather – cold, grey, some green, and long rolling hills over which we traveled.  I had the feeling that it was some otherworldly place as well, off the planet Earth anyway.  Stripes on the hills and you could see quite far because there weren’t much in the way of steep hills or anything like that, but the sky was dark.

This man I had the sense was from Russia or had some kind of connection to Russia, as I described him to Julia at one point in which she appeared in the dream to us.  I described to her that he had knowledge of growing things, particularly pumpkins (?!).  She took well to him.  I also informed her that we, or I, considered ourselves the “dogs” and at that, she said that we shouldn’t feel that way.  I wasn’t sure yet if I should have agreed that us as the dogs was a bad thing, but we had been alone up until that point so I would agree that at least we were together as a group of people who could communicate with each other.

At this point the dream melted into another one, which assumed the world form more similar to that of my normal, everyday waking world – the interior of the ship or station that we had been at became more like my house/bedroom, and in the bedroom the candle that we burnt last night was still burning.  I also perceived the presence of my astronomy teacher and astronomy class, and even the presence of my classmates – however there were some people there who are not in class with me, rather they have been or have been people I’ve known in my life.  They were in the class in the dream anyway.  Now it gets a little fuzzy.

The man with the black hair disappeared but Julia did not.  At first I was being chastised for not handing in my work properly or not listening well enough to instructions, for I was a little lost in what to do while clearly the class was following some instruction given by the teacher.  She seemed a little displeased with me, so I sought the note I have from Melady about my predicament as of late to show her, so that she might ease up.  The note itself I don’t recall showing her, but I do recall confronting a blonde girl from my past who decided then that it was a good time to be annoying to me.  I went up in her face and told her not to get in my face, and tried not to be too obnoxious albeit still stern.  No one chided me for that and I didn’t think I deserved to chide myself so I carried on.  The teacher seemed disinterested so I let her alone.

I have a little gap in my memory here, but I remember looking around the room and seeing the teacher at her desk in the corner, where Julia usually sits.  She was at her computer and I’m not sure how, but I remember detecting something strange about her computer.  Something black and shaped organically, like an animal, and I would later connect this blob to a squid – a cephalopod.  I went into the other room and the dream started to pick up speed very fast.  I was joined by many other people who were picking up on the same animal and informing me of its presence.  We all agreed that this animal was invading our space somehow, and also that it was formidable and had not been overcome effectively yet.  It was a “saprophigous cephalopod” or “saprophilous cephalopod” – a cephalopod that feeds on dead things, or dead wood, or something like that.  Anyway regardless of whether or not it nourished itself on dead things, it was definitely some form of squid of malevolent marine creature that seemed intent on getting to me, and weakening or even overcoming me.  The forms that it took were many, and I don’t remember all of them.  I do remember coming face to face with its grotesque size and silent nature however.

One man told me, a friendly man, that we could get together and talk about it or just that he would have liked to be friendly with me on our own terms, that I might find some solace and comfort in someone else whilst all this was going on.  The beast itself was still prominent as we all conversed and caught each other up on the situation as we had individually experienced it, and even had to fight it a few times.  It was clear that I needed company, or maybe not – but either way we were together and that seemed of benefit I would assume.  Strength in numbers?

The dream then changed again to something completely different, and this dream had a different cast of characters and took place entirely inside of some weird complex.  The complex had halls, winding narrow halls, and was some kind of institution.  Different wings of the institution were of different purpose, such as one such wing which appeared to be a music school.

This place’s characters were strange.  One of which was Greg and also a child, perhaps Josh (I think definitely Josh now), and some colleagues of his.  There was also two others: jung and some other religious, old scholar.  Actually I would consider them both old scholars, and not that i definitely knew that the one should have been called Jung (or Freud, which is the name I had been wont to call him, even though I didn’t know his name for sure).  Strangely, they were more like bobble-head, mini, or chibi people than they might have been in reality.  They walked around slowly and were friendly, laughed a lot and were just positive aspects of the dream.  Greg however was not exactly positive and seemed wary of me, even dangerous but mitigated in that, because he was paranoid, even though he seemed as though he could have been dangerous.  Indeed he seemed to be making choices that put me into danger a number of times, but I never felt afraid of him.

The situations involved installing fireplaces with large columns of concrete or other such building material.  They were being smashed and knocked around and I knew that a mistake could be lethal.  I saw the potential carnage in my mind’s eye in the dream every other moment.

When we were with Josh and the colleagues, we went into Toys R Us or some similar place.  There was a gun involved and Josh was fond of my being there, however Greg was not.  I wonder now that he was acting nervously and unpredictably just because of Josh’s presence.  There was a gun involved too and I believe Greg had it, or I had it, but that part didn’t last too long.  I didn’t feel in fear of it and I did not expect to be shot.  In fact I was almost always eyeing Greg as though I expected him to accidentally kill himself in whatever stupid scheme he was onto, or nervous obsession he was focused on.  I didn’t actually wish him any harm but I didn’t think that he was someone I could simply let alone.  I had to watch him for my own safety, or at least so that I could keep up the appearance of a semi-stable relationship with him, since I wasn’t ready for it to change.  That would have been very annoying and dangerous.

I recall that I followed the halls down with two others; I don’t remember who they were anymore.  We followed the long halls down to the music school portion, and passed some artwork on the way.  The walls were close around us and the ceiling was low as well.  As we passed the strings section, my heart ached and I wanted to play with them very much.  We continued along to another section: there were glass windows looking into a practise room full of kids and a teacher.  Interestingly, there were chairs in front of these windows, and from there you could play a larger instrument which looked similar to the interface of an overturned harp, only a couple feet deep though, more like a hammered dulcimer.  One of the men I was with sat down and started to play obnoxiously, interrupting the class.  At first the teacher and students found him to be only amusing, but he wouldn’t listen to them when they asked him to stop.  I left them at this point and went back alone.

As I passed artwork, I passed mini-Freud again, and he was uncharacteristically upset and actually had his hands together as if in confession.  He was beside his friend, who was also sad for some reason.  They appeared to be in great distress; Freud appeared to be relating his problems to his friend (I forgot to mention that he had a huge nose that had a prominent crease dividing it down the middle).  At this point though I followed on past them because I didn’t want to interrupt.  I didn’t get very far before parts of the ceiling started to descend down onto us: these were line wooden dividers lined with barbs, or steel spikes.  Freud and his friend started to get upset, being pushed down onto the floor by this descending walls of death.  They were slow enough that I could hear him wonder aloud what was going on.

I coudl feel them start to depress me right along my middle.  I felt them alternately depress and relieve, and I wasn’t sure if I was dying or not.  I wondered to myself if I was really dying, or even if I thought I was really dying – if that could really be possible.  “Do I really think I’m going to die?” I asked myself almost with a sigh, as if I would be so impudent as to think that I probably wasn’t going to.  Then I woke up.